Relationship With My Best Friend

Chapter 35.

I went to bed with tears on my face, having told Hardin not to worry about coming back over. I just really wanted to be alone with my impending thoughts, alone to cry really, and to mourn over the fact that Caleb is a dick. After subsequently getting over the initial shock of what had occurred this afternoon, I became aggressively mad at the boy. Almost to the point of going over to his house and punching him in the face, I didn't of course. I am still on a slight debate with it though.

It hurts my feelings that he didn't even attempt to let me explain my side - whether he chose to believe me in the end or not - because I thought we were better than that; I thought we trusted each other more than that. If this had happened vice-verse, I would have wanted him to explain. I would have wanted him to explain to me what really happened in order to display what had actually occurred, but he could not give that back to me.

I am disappointed in him.

And to be honest, I am just as disappointed in Jeremy for sending him something like that. I saw the number that was displayed at the top of the screen when I was shown the messages, and though I assume Caleb already knows who sent it, I didn't want to tell him. The last thing I need is for him to find out from me and beat up Jeremy again. Anyway, I don't understand the point behind Jeremy doing this, but I am shocked and upset by it. If he really liked me he would not have done that.

At the end of the day, Caleb is the cause for what is going on in this moment, and it would be unfair to pin it on Jeremy. Caleb is the one who chose to act this way, and you are a product of your actions.

I woke up feeling crusty and overall, just, disgusting. After successfully cleaning myself up for school, I grabbed a bagel with cream cheese on the way out to my own car. Getting into the driver seat, I pause, becoming upset all over again. This is the first time in what feels like forever that I will be driving myself to school. Hardin had offered this morning in a text, but I told him that I was fine.

Now I am not too sure.

I didn't need to be anxious for long, Caleb never showed up to school. Hardin had met me at the front and walked me to my locker with little exchange between us. I can tell he wanted to talk - the kid is always talking - but seemingly he understood that I was not in the mood today. It would have been better if Caleb did show up, I have concluded, then I wouldn't of had to wonder what he was up to instead. Even after the awful things he had said to me yesterday, I can't help but think about him and only him.

His smile, his eyes, his hair, his voice and his strong body that always seemed to know how to hold me.

I went home with nothing but longing for him.

Friday seemed to come as the same boring, consuming day as before with Caleb not showing up once more.

"Don't worry about him," Hardin tells me, wrapping an arm over my shoulders. We've gone through the majority of the day now, heading to sixth hour, but I guess not seeing Caleb yet thus far has still been an overwhelming shock. He really doesn't want to see me this much that he will skip school to avoid me? Our time together had meant so little that now he has to avoid me at all cost?

"Easier said than done, Hardin," I sigh, adjusting my bag on my shoulder. He doesn't get it. Then again, I can't really expect him to.

"I know," He agrees and kisses my temple in a loving, friendly way. I feel an overwhelming need to cry which is strange considering I had diagnosed the fact that I ran out of tears a day ago. "But he will come around, don't let what he does now bring you down."

I bite my lip and nod, letting him walk away as I get to my sixth hour. Oh, Caleb, have we truly gotten ourselves to this level? How sad.

. . . .