September: Beneath The Hoodie She Wears

CHAPTER NINE: PERFECT CHILD // PARTY

ODETTE

Kahapon pa ako nagkulong sa kwarto ko simula ng ihatid ako ni Khalil. Wala sila mama paguwi ko kaya naman kumain na lang ako bago umakyat sa kwarto ko.

I ate early yesterday because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Alam ko naman kasi na kakamustahin nila mama ang ngyari and alam ko din na kaya na din naman i-kwento ni Annika iyon.

Napatingin ako sa digital clock ko sa table.

It's already noon.

Bigla naman ako nakarinig ng tatlong katok. Naghintay ako ng ilang minuto bago binuksan yung pinto at kinuha yung tray ng food na naka patong sa sahig bago sinara ulit ang pinto.

Some things don't change I guess.

Pinatong ko yung tray ng food sa may coffee table bago bumalik sa study table ko at nagpakalunod sa acads. 

Ng maramdaman ko na ang gutom ay tsaka ako tumigil at kinain ang malamig ng beefsteak at kanin. Uminom na din ako ng juice.

Pagkatapos kong kumain ay sumandal ako sa sofa na inuupuan ko. Tumingala ako sa ceiling at napabuntonghininga.

"Why do I feel like I haven't moved forward?" Tanong ko.

I thought I was okay, that I was healing. That maybe I'm not there yet but I'm slowly approaching it.

Napaupo ako ng maayos at tinignan ang paligid ng kwarto ko bago tinignan ang plate kong wala ng laman ngayon.

FLASHBACK

Pumasok ako sa bahay ng naka-shirt, ganoon na lang ang gulat ko ng makita si mama sa may sala. She's usually out with her amigas when I go home from school...

"I'm home," sabi ko at napalingon naman siya sa akin at ngumiti.

She placed her cup of tea on the coffee table by the sofa and stood up to hug me.

"How's school anak? And why are you not wearing your blouse?" Tanong ni mama.

Pilit naman akong ngumiti.

"I-I got sweaty so I changed my shirt." I felt my hand shake so I held it.

Hindi ako sanay na nagsisinungaling kay mama. But I need to appear fine.

Yet I know deep down... I wanted them to know. I want them to know how badly I'm hurting...

But I was used to this and I know they are too.

Sanay silang ako yung perpektong anak.

So all I could do is hold my broken pieces together.

"Is that so? Well then go and wash up. Your dad's away so get your practice tests in the library," sabi ni mama kaya naman tumango ako at naglakad na paakyat sa kwarto ko.

When I went in I changed my clothes and went to the library, still carrying my bag with me. Pumasok na ako at pumunta sa may japanese style table sa gitna.

I sighed at the bulk of paper on the table. I flipped through the papers and realized there's a practice test per subject.

"Dad and his connections," I couldn't help but mumble.

Sigurado ako na kinausap niya ang principal na sabihan ang teachers ko na gawan ako ng practice tests. And of course, pumayag ang principal not because they're college batchmates but because the principal sees potential in me.

Madami akong na-ambag sa trophy room. 

I started working after a few deep breaths. Hindi ako pwede magpahinga, dad's going to check my progress and I need to show him something.