Fifty Shades of Zayn (SLOW UPDATES)

This is the End

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I tried flipping, changing sides, changing positions, trying every weird position possible. I even tried hanging my head off the bed, but I couldn't just sleep. My head kept messing with my Zayn-thoughts and my eyes kept shredding tears like water from a tap.

He got me addicted to him and I realized that when he was gone, I had nothing left. There was a hollow in my heart that only he could fix. But he was out there, with someone else - her. Not with me. How I wished to hold him tight and not let him go. But I knew better, he was no man to do love.

My mind drifts to the happy times I had spent with Harry as I drive back to my home at 2:15 AM in the morning. The road is dead silent. I couldn't just stay in that place, it just felt like four walls trapping me in. So I snuck out.

My life with Harry was so simple. I could hold his hand out in public, kiss him whenever I wanted to. We would sit in a park on summer days talking about various things and he'd take photographs for his portfolio while I'd read a book. He wouldn't ask me to sign a 10 page contract to love me. He wouldn't spank me when I rolled my eyes. He wouldn't... I don't have anything else to say. I know he wouldn't have that effect on me as Zayn does.

I park my car outside and rush into the house. It is as cold as outside. I quickly turn on the heater and rush to my room. Finding my familiar duvet, I slide into bed.

It's so complicated, my relationship with Zayn. Relationship? My sub-conscious rings the bell. Yeah right! I don't have a relationship with him. See? This is what I am talking about. I don't even know what we are. How am I supposed to figure things out when I'm the only one trying?

I let myself drift off to sleep after endless crying. I don't even know why I was crying. But I just felt like a huge burden falling off my chest.

Shiftings from outside my room wake me up. I sit up on my bed and grab the first thing that comes in my hand - the table clock. Wow! So creative. My sub-conscious says in sarcasm.

I smoothly get out of my bed, making no noise and put my ear on the door. I hear muffled noises. I am not even fully awake to hit this burglar. But somehow, I find courage and with the clock ready in my hand, I open the door.

A man dressed in black suit turns around. It's James, one of Zayn's bodyguards I assume, or spy. Taylor walks up quickly in his suit. Do these men sleep with those?

I finally let the clock down and sigh. Deciding that I'm too tired to stand, I walk back into my room while Taylor talks to someone on his bluetooth.

"Why are you here Taylor?" I ask him whilst sitting on my bed and covering myself with the sheets.

"We couldn't find you ma'am. Mr. Malik was worried. Why aren't you home ma'am?" He frowns.

"I am home Taylor. This is my home. I am fine, you can go home now."

"No ma'am. I am instructed to take you with me." His voice is firm.

"I'm not going anywhere." I yawn and slide down.

"In that case ma'am, I will stay with you."

"Your wish. You can take the couch or whatever. There's a guest room down the hall, right," I say and take a breath, "Good night Taylor."