Easy on me (Y/N)

Chapter 11

Y/N's POV:
Victoria went home yesterday and the overwhelming loneliness is unbearable. I'd become very reliant on her company. This was covered by the contentment and happiness I was feeling. Now I just feel alone. I could call Lizzie but that would not be fair to Victoria she'd just left. So I curl up in a ball on the floor playing with Tommy watching as the tears hit the play mat. There's a knock at the door and I pick up Tommy to reveal Ashley.
"I thought you'd be sulking so I brought you lunch and my presence as a distraction," Ashley declares kissing my cheek as she walks inside. She's always there for me.
"This is why you're my future wife," I joke but her face drops a little.
"What did I say?" I panic.
"I actually came here to talk to you or to admit something to you. I told Lizzie a few weeks ago and she told me to come clean," Ashley informs me. I put Tommy down on his mat and cup her face.
"You can always tell me anything. You know that," I encourage her pulling her into a hug. We sit down on the sofa and she takes a deep breath.
"When I say you're my future wife I'm not joking. It's what I've always wanted since you spent Lizzie's entire 21st birthday trying to make me smile after my boyfriend dumped me. I've always loved you but you've never seen it or me, not really. Because it's always been her. You have this tunnel vision. Everything comes back to her," Ashley informs me.
"You should've told me. I always had a crush on you for years when I was 18 onwards. You were my best friends hot older sister so were always off limits. Communication within this family really needs to improve," I reply giggling.
"It wouldn't have changed anything. It's always going to be her. Your distracting yourself with Victoria to prepare incase Lizzie doesn't break off this engagement because you won't do it. You're too moral and worried about your son. But we all know you'll end up together whether it's in 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years. I'd just be another distraction," Ashley sighs.
"No you wouldn't. Don't talk about yourself like that. I adore you. I always have done. I just knew if I ever asked you out Lizzie would kill me and I was never sure you actually liked me. We flirted for so many years I thought it was just our mode of communication, a joke. I wish I'd known," I comfort her kissing her forehead smiling at her.

"All I keep thinking is what if now. What if I'd kissed you when we spent the whole night together watching movies after you broke up with Kristie. Or when we danced all night at my 30th. I'm such an idiot for falling in love with you when you've always been in love with my sister," Ashley mumbles tearily. I cup her face wiping the tears kissing her forehead.
"I don't know if it helps but I wanted to kiss you that night too. But I knew it'd be bad timing as Lizzie already wasn't speaking to me because I'd gotten so wrapped up with Kristie that I'd neglected her a little. And if I started something with you I'd want to finish it," I inform her.
"Nope that definitely doesn't help," she giggles.
"What do you want me to do to make you feel better? I'll do anything," I plead.
"All I want is a kiss. To see if there ever was a spark," Ashley mumbles nervously. I smile leaning in a little.
"Are you sure?" I check.
"Positive." I allow her to close the gap as I slip my hand behind her head to continue the kiss. It was gentle and sweet. Full of emotion and longing on her behalf and on mine all I could feel was guilt.

Lizzie's POV:
I let myself into Y/N's as Ashley text me that she was upset. As I walk into the living room my heart stops. They pull away from each other.
"It's not her fault. I just wanted to know if there could've ever been a spark. There was from my side but not hers. She's clearly still in love with you," Ashley explains. Y/N looks at me sheepishly.
"Sorry," we both apologise in unison.
"It's ok. I should go but you're still my date to mom's dinner in a few weeks right?" Ashley checks.
"Yes of course," Y/N agrees kissing her cheek before she leaves.
"So you stop sulking by putting your tongue down my sisters throat classily as always Y/L/N," I tease her and she rolls her eyes.
"Well I couldn't enjoy it because all I could think about was how guilty I felt because deep down I know that I'm still in love with you," Y/N sighs sitting down.
"Why are you so down about it?" I question.
"Because I have this amazing beautiful girlfriend and I know in my heart that all I want everytime I see you is to kiss you. To have you every part of you. But she deserves better. I deserve better. You need to sort whatever is going on with Robbie out because if I'm going to risk being the happiest I've felt since you on the chance you might want me back. I need to know you're done with him," Y/N explains.
"I'll prove it just wait until my mom's dinner. His best friend is coming, she'll crack under the spot light and then I'm coming right back here to fight for you. I don't give a shit if you're still with her I'm fighting my ass off for you. Because I know I'm meant to be with you and Tommy. It was always meant to be us. You know that and I do too. If you want me to get down on my knees and beg I'll do that. If you want me to declare my love for you to the entire world I'll also do that. Whatever you want I will do it because I need you to be my wife one day. I need to spend the rest of my life with you. I need to kiss you and never stop because I love you," I declare enamoured with her.
"Actions speak louder than words Elizabeth," Y/N reminds me.
"Go to the dinner as Ashley date. Watch my engagement burn to ashes. Then watch me fight for you," I smirk stepping closer to help.
"W..what about Victoria?" Y/N stutters.
"Whether I'm waiting 10 days or 10 months or 10 years I will still be fighting for you. I'm patient Y/N. I just hope you see that it's always been you and me. I'll make sure to make your choice very simple," I tease nudging her playfully.
"I'm sure you will. Thank you for coming Lizzie. I needed cheering up," Y/N blushes.
"You're welcome I'm always going to be here for you. Whether that's just being here physically or holding you until you calm down. Or making you scream because you needed me that badly and I made you feel that good," I whisper against her lips. She goes bright red. I trace my hand up the outside of her leg and feel her shiver against me.
"Good to know I still have that affect on you Y/L/N. But if you want that you'll break up with your girlfriend so I can make you finish so many times you can't walk. And I'll tie you up just like you love. Do you miss it princess?" I challenge her. She just gulps.
"I can't control myself around you and I don't want to be a cheat. I need you to go before I just start ripping off your clothes," Y/N pleads.
"Ok princess but I'll be back once I'm through with Robbie. Ready to make you remember what you're missing out on," I wink leaving. I can't wait to end this engagement and ruin her again.