I drop the pen onto my hardwood table as I feel my hand begin to cramp, I didn't even realize how much I was writing, I think this is a good time to end off.
I quickly write my initial on the bottom part of the page, and decide to write in the book again when something interesting happens.
I get up from my chair, and stretch my arm muscles. The whole time I was writing about everything that was going on; from meeting him, to ghosting me, to going back to friends, and now finally to re ghosting; I didn't hear my phone go off with a bunch of texts.
Schlatt's probably annoyed with me for ignoring him. Well, he would be annoyed if he was the actual person who texted me.
I pick up my phone and read the single contact name that was sending me all of these messages.
Of course, it always happens.
It's Quackity.
He ghosts me, we become friends again, and he ghosts me once more; the cycle continues.
I groan in frustration and open the first message notification I see, of course. It's another text message, I could only guess that this was another long apology of some sort.
Little did I know, how wrong i would be.
so wrong.
The message was "normal" at first, well normal for us. This is how he would start off his apologies .
The casual "i know youre probably mad at me and wont read this-" blah blah blah.
i know i only mentioned this one time, about him having a girlfriend.
i guess i should of brought it up more because, this whole text that he sent me is just about here.
My eyes dart from word to word tears welling up in them, my bedroom is so quiet I can hear my heart beating and the wind pounding from outside.
it cant be true, no. he wouldn't do all this for some girl he just met.
right?
wrong.
"heyyy, listen i know that you're probably mad at me and won't read this, and you would be rightfully mad. i think i should rip the bandaid off and just tell you that we can't keep doing this. the flirting, and suggestive comments we make about each other. i know its all for jokes and you don't actually mean it but i have a girlfriend now and i need to focus on just her. i think we should stop being friends and quit hanging out with each other as a whole. im so sorry but i think it's for the better. you were great to me and i hope i was great to you as well."
this cant be the end, at least *not yet* we had so much more to do, so much more collabs to make so much more to do.
no stop y/n.
you dont want the collabs or videos with him, you want him. you love him. and you need to understand that. why are you hiding your feelings?? he knows you love him too, thats why he sent that text; i bet his girlfriend doesn't even care and he just wanted an excuse.
i let out a muffled sob as I slammed my face into my cold pillow, that would become wet with my ever pouring tears.
why am i sad
i dont know.
i picked up my phone and slowly typed a bland "ok" but the thing is that will forever tick me off is that the fact, the message never sent.
he blocked me.
i grew even more angry that without realization or even a hint of hesitation i picked up my phone and chucked it at the wall, i heard it crash into my closet across from it and a small bang as it fell onto the linen carpet flooring.
i pull the covers over me, not bothering to change out of my clothes from earlier. i engulf myself into my cold comforter and turn onto my side to get some rest.
before i could start to doze off i just began thinking to myself, why? why me? i felt another salty tear dribble down my eyes and fall onto my bed's sheet. i sigh and turn over on my back again just trying to get comfortable in my bed, i need sleep so bad so so bad.
i shut my eyes tight, and just picture a perfect world where him and i are together, happily in love.
i know that this will never actually happen it's all in my head; quite literally and all it is, is just a stupid fantasy, but to alex it was just a game. all of it was.
every.
single.
part.
of.
it.
thankfully, due to my body being overworked and stressed i finally feel myself drift off into sleep, my body begins to calm down.
but before i fall into a slumber, i hear my phone ding; that very same ding for when i get a new text. i choose to ignore it and just continue trying to sleep.
-
emptiness, cold, and a pain in my chest.
i slide over on my bed to reach my nightstand where my phone is currently laying on, remembering that i got a text before i went to sleep.
my eyes adjust to the bright light of my phone as i turn it on and i am greeted with a warm up beat bubbly message but from who?
oh wait.
it's from karl?
