V. Sofiah

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............(Sofiah's POV)............
"Chaos!" I skipped my way to him.

"Yes, my Peace?" I smiled. Waaa! Caleb is such a sweetie!

"Let's go eat something!" I exclaimed. He smiled at me.

"Ohh, hungry again?" he teased and chuckled.

"I just want to eat!" I replied I wanted some alone time with him.

"What do you want? Ice cream? Or maybe your favorite, Chocolate cookies?" I smiled at him.

"Chocolate cookies!" I exclaimed. I looked at his back while he was going to the counter. I'm fortunate to have Caleb as my boyfriend. I liked him before, and now I love him.

I love him to the point that...

I don't want him to know that I'm going to leave him soon.

I looked in his direction, and he smiled and waved at me. I don't want that sweet smile to disappear. I don't want that beautiful eyes to cry.

"Here's your cookies." He said and placed it on our table. I smiled and savored the food and the memories I had with him.

I know I only have a few days to live, and I chose to spend it with him and everyone I love.

"Tadaa!" I exclaimed and took my hands away from Caleb's eyes.

"What's this?" He sounds surprised but happy at the same time.

"A garden dinner, duh." I prolonged and chuckled.

The garden with a table centered in its lanterns above, and we could also see the stars. Everything looks perfect. We ate, laughed, and danced through the night.

"Why does this feel like you're saying goodbye?" He softly asks while we're sitting in the grass and leaning on a tree. I'm sorry.

"What?! Of course, not! Where would I go, huh?!" I replied. I'm sorry if I have to leave you, Chaos.

He chuckled. "I know you wouldn't, Peace." A tear dropped in my eyes. I leaned on him more, so he wouldn't see me crying.

"I love you," I exclaimed. If only you didn't have to get hurt, I would do everything.

Every tick of the clock seemed so fast, slowly dying; here I am. I want to wipe Caleb's tears while he's looking at me. I want to see him jolly and smile at me. I don't want to leave him.

I wish I have the energy to say, 'Don't cry, 'cause it's hurting me more.'

I savored his warm hands around mine as memories slowly returned to me---those times when we were happy, times when I cried because of him and the quarrels we had.

I wish I could hold his face and smile sweetly and say, 'Happy Anniversary, My Chaos!' But I guess it's just not meant to be.

"I love you, Chaos." Those were my last words for my Chaos.

I call him Chaos because...

I'm his Peace, and he's my Chaos.

He destroyed what I believed in, and he showed me how beautiful it is to live, that loving him will cause me and his chaos---

Nobody would feel chaos without peace.

That peace and chaos wouldn't be complete without the other. But maybe... I was just a part of his story.

I don't want him to feel inflected in my death. I don't want him to suffer. If anything else, I want him to be happy.

Happy, even if I'm not beside him anymore. I hope one day he'll find someone who he will love more than me, that could stay by his side forever. I'll be more grateful if he does.

"I hope when the time comes when I find my happiness again. You'll forgive me for moving on, my Peace."

I'm praying. Praying for that to happen, Chaos. You don't need forgiveness cause you didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who left you! It's all my fault why you're suffering! I will always love you. Those memories with you will always be my favorite throughout my existence.

And yes,

Maybe in another life, I will be your girl.

And maybe then, I won't have to leave you behind.

———————MissKjj07——————10/29/21

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