*SAMPU*

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Isang gabi, saktong pabalik na ako sa kwarto nadaanan ko ito. Suot lamang nito ang jersey at nakahawak nang baso na may alak. Pagkatapos nitong uminom ay tinapon nito ang baso. Nabasag ito.

Ginulo nito ang buhok at kahit nakasideview ito nakikita ko ang galit nitong mga mata. Nanatili lang ako doon pero di ko inaasahan lilingon ito. Parang nadikit ang paa ko sa sahig dahil hindi ko ito maigalaw.

Nagtitigan kami ng ilang minuto nang bigla itong nagsalita. "Why it has to be me?" Like he was asking how did his life ended like that. I guess it is he wanted to imply.

Hindi ko alam anong pumasok na masamang espiritu sa akin at pumasok sa kwarto niya. Naupo ako sa tabi niya. Nakakabingi ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin.

"Did you ever lose someone in your life?"

Nagulat ako sa tanong niya. It was straight to the point. It was the topic I usually try to avoid. Do I need to tell him? Bago ko pa maibuka ang bibig ko nagsalita siya ulit.

"I lose someone when I was 18, actually she's my special someone when I was 15. Three years of being together just got wasted by her fucking decisions. She decided to sell herself to the men lusting her,"paliwanag nito. Kaya pala ganun ang galit nito kay Cathy dahil alam niya ang trabaho nito. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin sa kanya.

"I am thirty now, how can she face me?! She's more dirty than a rug. Twelve fucking years! And here she was begging for me to come back! Is she stupid?!" I can feel his rage of emotions. Hindi man ito umiiyak ramdam ko ang kalungkutan sa boses nito.  Wala akong masabi dahil hindi ko naman naranasan ang mahiwalayan. I lose someone but it was my family.

"Can you save me from this?"
Magkaharap na kami ngayon. This man deserves to be happy. Now I understand how he became a monster. He just need to be tamed. I decided to talk.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, just sleep with me tonight."

Did he ask cuddle or more? But if this thing he wanted I will willingly give it to him.

"Don't worry,I just wanted to sleep, not more than that."

*****************************************

Humiga ako sa kama. Nagpaalam ito na maliligo muna siya. Hindi ko maintindihan ang aking pakiramdam ngayon. Is he being good to me?

Hindi ko namalayan nakalabas na ito mula sa banyo. Umuga ang kama sa pagkakaupo niya.  Nakasuot lang ito ng boxer. Kita ko na naman ang tattoo niya. Nahuli niya akong nakatitig dito. "You want to touch it?"

"Huh?"

"Feel free to touch it."

Umupo muna ako. I start to run my fingers to his back but my hand is shaking.
Stay calm! I scolded myself.

"Can you massage my back?" Natigilan ako sa sinabi nito pero sa huli nagsimula akong imasahe ang balikat niya. He has firm muscles and broad shoulders that every girls dream. That include me. Nasobrahan sa pagbabasa ng romance novels kaya ganito ang naiisip ko.

"Shit! That was good." Bakit pag nagmumura siya napakagandang pakinggan? Stupid self! Ginalingan ko pa lalo at parang umuungol siya sa sarap. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng matino dahil sa ungol niya. Natapos ko din ang pagmasahe dito kahit pinagpawisan ako.

Nakaharap ko na ito pero nakatingin ito ng may intensidad. Hinawakan nito ang kamay ko. Nanginginig nalang ako bigla. My palms are sweating. "Are you okay?" Hindi ako makasagot dahil parang umurong na ang dila ko.

"Your not comfortable sleeping with me? You can go to your room." Pagkatapos sabihin yun, nahiga na ito sa kama. Instead leaving him I lay down also. He didn't move so I decided to put blankets for him. I cover myself also. I just stare at the ceiling.

I feel the warm of his hand. Nakayakap na pala ito sa akin. Nakasiksik na ito sa leeg ko. I can feel his breath. Naaamoy ko ang mouthwash na gamit nito. Sa sobrang pag-iisip ko, nakatulog na pala itong katabi ko.

I relax myself and start closing my eyes. Drifting to sleep. Hoping I can have good night sleep.

***************************************
I was awake by a phone call. It's from his phone. I look at the clock near his lampshade. It says 5:00 am. How can that call be disrespectful? I am having my beautiful sleep.

Bumangon ako para tingnan ang tawag. It's unknown number. It has a lot
of texts popping. Nakakuha sa atensyon ko ang text nito na "I miss you so much. Can u hear me out? I never stop loving you. Let's meet".
I can feel my heartbeat raising. I feel hurt too. This is not good. Ano kaya itong nararamdaman ko? Am I jealous? No! It can't be.

"Your too early."

Nawala saglit ang pag-iisip ko nang marinig ko ang boses niya. His bedroom voice is tempting. Konti nalang, mababaliw na ako.

"Nagutom kasi ako."

"Why you didn't wake me? I'll prepare your breakfast." Bumaba ito sa kama at diretsong lumabas. I can only hear the door shut. That's new to him preparing my breakfast.

He has this undetermined personality. You can't predict it because sometimes his like a tiger and eventually he will turn like a lost puppy.

He came back the room bringing a cup of coffee and toasted bread. "Here's your breakfast. Sorry that's the only good I know how to make."

In his simple ways, I can feel his sincerity. I hope he will soon find peace within him.

______________

PATAWAD SA DI KAGANDAHANG OBRA😥

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