Dandelions | Yuki Ishikawa

What about my ice cream?

I've been thinking a lot about the time when Yuki told me he loves me. I was a bit surprised and I didn't know what to say. Well, actually... I did. I wanted to tell him that I love him too, but nothing came out. I talked about it with my aunt and she told me that it will come out naturally. If he's willing to wait for me to say it, then there's no rush.

Spending time with my aunt was great since I haven't seen her in months. It did get quite lonely when she's at work. So, I was pretty much excited when I was packing up to go back to Italy.

"I'm not sure if I should be happy that you're excited to leave or be sad" she said as she helped me pack my things.

"I'll see you soon and I promise I'll be safe" I assured her.

"Your parents would be so proud of you..." she was tearing up.

"You raised me too.. so give yourself some credit as well. You got me through  their death and you've supported basically everything I wanted to do..."

She chuckled, "Except that time you wanted to shave your head because you wanted some change"

"Don't remind me about that"

I finished packing up and looked at my phone. It's late in Japan... I shouldn't bother him. I scrolled through the pictures on my phone... I have a lot of candid pictures of him. My favorite was when he saw the tomato on his salad during one of our dates. His nose was scrunched up, one hand covering his face. That was when he told me that he's not a fan of tomatoes. Which I thought was silly since he would eat my spaghetti or lasagna.

Anyway, I got back to Italy a few hours before he did. I went back to my apartment to check if everything was good. I also packed a small bag to bring with me when I go pick him up since he wanted me to sleep over at his place.

I also bought a small white cardboard that I can decorate for when he arrives. I got some markers and crayons out and just doodled on it. I didn't even realize what I wrote until I finished it.

What the heck...? I... I mean I do love him. Ahhh! Screw it, I don't have time to make another one.

I got a cab to the airport, I got there too early, but I was excited to see him. I waited for about 45 minutes until I saw the board saying that his flight just landed. It's probably going to be another 30 minutes wait. As people were arriving, I recieved a message from an unknown number, it just said 'Enjoy' and then another message, but this time they were pictures, explicit pictures... It was Yuki and Kasumi. They were both on his bed, naked. One picture had Kasumi on top of him, his hands on her hips... Another picture had Yuki sitting up, Kasumi on top of him, her legs wrapped around his waist. He was kissing  her neck. There were a lot of pictures sent to me... All of them were Yuki and Kasumi having sex.

He said he was going to keep his distance from her. He said not to worry about her... He said he loves me, but then this? So, what exactly am I to him? A plaything? Rebound girl?

I heard him say my name, "Mio?"

I looked up at him. I didn't even realize that I was crying at the time until he asked me what was wrong. I shoved my phone to his face, he looked at it, eyes widening in disbelief. I grabbed it back and shoved the sign that I made to his chest before quickly walking away. There's no point in staying and hear his excuse. I got a cab and went home.

My phone was ringing non-stop since I left the airport. I know it's him calling... but what's the point of answering it? He'll just make up some excuse, say that he didn't mean it, tell me that I'm the one he loves? Bullshit. I put my phone on silent, tired of hearing it ring and vibrate. I turned off all the lights and laid down on my bed. I covered myself with a thick blanket and hugged one of my pillows. I didn't cry, no.. I just stared at the wall for who knows how long... I have to call Yoshida-san and tell him that I'm quitting or maybe I can just email him. I should move. Transfer to another university. Would that be too much?