Kinda Perfect

Vanessa Michaels

Chapter 13: Vanessa Michaels

Garrett P.O.V:

“Do you remember that picture you saw the day we ditched?” I asked Delilah.

She nodded, “Yeah, the one in the bouncy castle.”

“Yeah that one, well that was my sister Vanessa and I when we were about 11 or 12. She was a year younger than me but she since she excelled in school she ended up in the same grade as me. Vanessa was the type of girl you’d try so hard to hate but couldn’t because she was a genuinely kind human being.

 Even at a young age she knew, felt, and understood so many things. Everything she did was to make the people around her happy and never made her struggles known.” I paused, seeing Delilah shoot me a small smile to urge me to keep going.

“Vanessa knew exactly what to say and when to say it. I don’t know how, but every time we would talk she’d make me feel better straight away. For the longest time I wanted to return the favor and give her the best big brother advice but it was impossible. Putting her feelings before anyone else’s was something she could never do. There are times when I noticed her unhappy but straight away her attitude would change from glum to fun once she saw someone else upset. It was amazing.

But that day on the bouncy castle was the beginning to the worst summer of my life.

Me and Vanessa, we were going to a new school, experience new friends, teachers and classes, but she didn’t let me in. She didn’t tell me she was hurting.

When we were bouncing something weird happened and she started to feel dizzy, she didn’t look where she was jumping and fell completely out of the castle. When she was in the emergency room getting x-rayed for damages to her bones and head and stuff, the doctors found something unusual. During the scan for her head injuries they saw a spot that appeared on her brain. She had a tumor. My 11 year old sister had a brain tumor and I didn’t fucking know. She never told us she had headaches and she never told us that her vision wasn’t like it used to be, but I should’ve noticed something wrong. She was my sister, my best friend, how could I not she that she was in pain.

That summer going into middle school was so hard. There were numerous treatments and multiple trips to the hospital and it was just extremely exhausting. It got to the point where she had to shave her head because of all the hair loss the treatment caused.

Once summer came to an end she made the decision to back to school with me. I tried to talk her out of it but she didn’t want her illness to define who she was. She valued her education and nothing I could say would ever stop her. For a while it was normal; she showed up looking strong and everyday she would wear a hat to cover up the fact that she was bald. One day some dick decided to take her hat as a joke and obviously this exposed her head. Every single person who witness this laughed at her. All the stupid immature kids laughed at my dying sister but she still stood so strong. She didn’t cry or run away; she just took her hat back and walked away. I didn’t have the tolerance for bullshit like she did so I punched everyone who made fun of her. Every day I’d hear someone say bad things about her and every day I came home with a swollen hand. She asked me to stop but I couldn’t. I couldn’t help her, I couldn’t make her pain go away, and that was the only thing I could do to even try to help her.

By the time school got out her condition didn’t change and she only got worse. She was going to leave us soon and she knew it.

Since she was admitted to the hospital there was not a day where I missed telling my sister that I loved her. During the last weeks of her life I spent every second with her. I was there so much the nurses eventually gave me a bed to sleep on so I could be with her at night.

One night, her final night, I woke up with this tight feeling in my chest and I knew it was going to happen soon. I got out of bed and walked over to be by her side. She woke up slightly and I grabbed her hand and begged her not to go. I couldn’t lose my best friend.

Princess, this was the only time I saw my sister cry. She squeezed my hand tighter, looked me in the eyes and said,

 “Garrett Michaels, I will never ever leave you. Everywhere you go I’ll be with you. I just want you to promise me that you’ll never fight anymore, we don’t need any more people in this family getting hurt” she said with a smile. “I want you to be happy and remember the times when we were one big happy family. Please, do the things that make you happy and when you find someone you love, do everything you can to keep them happy, like you did for me. Thank you for being my brother and the bestest friend anyone could ask for.” She whispered, “I love you so much, Happy Birthday.”

We soon fell back asleep and the moment I woke up the next morning I knew that she hadn’t. On July 19, 2011 I lost my sister and my only best friend. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t do anything for weeks after she passed away. I didn’t care about a stupid birthday and didn’t care about my school.

I couldn’t go back to the same school or the same house after her death since everything reminded me of her, so we moved.

8th grade was supposed to be a new town, a new school, and a new me, but I was still too sad. Everyone thought I was some rebel because of all the black I wore and the frown that was glued to my face but it was just sadness. No one saw me as anything else and no one looked at me with kindness in their eyes, until I saw you.