《 𝘼𝙜𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙘 》

《 𝘼𝙜𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙘 》(9)

TW: panic attacks

-------------

Corpse POV

-------------

When your eyes slowly open, you're startled for a moment

'Why the fuck am I in an aeroplane...' you think to yourself

Glancing over, you see Llana in the seat beside you

Right...

New York City

One of the most populous cities in the world

I'm fucked

You analyze the girl beside you, still typing away with earbuds in. You're trying to figure out the song based on the words she's mouthing and the quiet music coming from her ears.

Reaching out, you pluck the earbud from her ear and are shocked to hear your voice coming from the speakers

When she notices the music was gone, she glanced over at you and blushes

"Is it weird?" She asks

"Not at all" you respond "Agoraphobic is how we met after all"

"That's true" she replies "Anyways, how was your nap? You were out for a while."

"It was nice, haven't slept like that in a while"

"That's good." She glances at the clock on her laptop "We land in about 15 minutes"

Not even a few seconds after she said that, a beep sounds through the plane and a voice comes through the intercom.

'We are about to begin decent, please place all electronic devices at your feet, sit down and fasten your seatbelts, and fold up the lap tables in front of you. Thank you for flying on NorthEast Airlines and we hope you have a wonderful time here in New York City!'

---------------Timeskip--------------

Walking into the hotel room was a surreal experience. Llana said she was gonna splurge, but you defiantly didn't expect this

Walking in through the door was this common room-like area and massive windows on the far side that overlook the skyline. There was a kitchen and island to the left, with double stoves and every fucking appliance you could imagine. Glancing over to your right you saw double doors, which you assumed led to the master suite. Walking in, you pause... there's only one bed.

Llana is still in awe of the place, looking over every detail, and finding all the nooks and crannies of the hotel room. Walking out onto the balcony, she screams. "OH, MY GAWD COME LOOK AT THIS!!!" You walk over towards her, pulling your beanie farther down your face, it turned into a habit every time you walk outside. 

"It's great Llana." You say, the wind carrying your voice to her. 

Intertwining your fingers with hers, you lie your head on her shoulder. "It's great being here with you-" glancing down, you realized how high up the two of you were, and you felt your chest begin to tighten. 

You step back from the railing and try to start breathing normally

fuck

no

not here

not in front of her

not right now

fuck, just breathe alright?

calm down

I'm fine

I'm fine

Llana glances back, you're trying to hide the fact that you're having an episode. But honestly just by the way that you're breathing and the unmistakable shake of your hands while you fidget with your rings... she knows what's happening already. 

You crouch down towards the floor, your vision becomes fluid and disfigured as if you were looking through a fish-eye lens. You were fighting with the monologue happening inside your head, and you just had to breathe, you can't... you can't fucking breathe...

fuck

alright

okay

why

whywhywhywhywhywhy

why in front of anyone?

why her?

"Corpse?"

Her voice was muffled through the roaring ocean in your ears

"Corpse, just try to listen okay?"

You try to nod, but realize that she may not be able to know that it was a nod, due to the shakes that were racking your body.

"Okay, I know you can hear me. Just listen, I'm going to tell you where we are okay? We're in New York, in this beautiful hotel, and the suite is actually really nice and I didn't re..."

She rambled on for another 3 minutes before the tightening in your chest released, your breathing grew more regular, and the tears stopped falling from your eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry" you manage to choke out.

Llana brushes the hair out from your eyes, "sorry for what? Corpse, hon... there's nothing to be sorry about." 

She stands up and offers you her hand, reaching up you take it and use the wall to help push yourself up from where you were sitting on the floor. 

"Ya'know" your voice scratches the inside of your throat, "Llana..."

She turns around, "what is it Corpse?"

"I think... you're one of the few people that have ever gotten this close to me... like emotionally and shit ya'know?"

Smiling, Llana envelops you in a hug and lies her head on your chest "Thank you Corpse"

"No Llana, thank you"