Always Been You - Shawmila One Shots

The I.T Guy, Part 1

Silence is deafening. That's the only thought I can muster as I sit by the window in the empty apartment, watching the movers pack up the last of my belongings in a shabby cargo truck. Around me the walls echo every tiny sound I make, the drumming of fingers against the window sill, water running in the pipes, an old ceiling fan that creaks with every turn. All of it sounds so vivid now that there's no one to share it with.

I thought six months would seem like an eternity and I would have plenty of time to get over him. But I feel as empty as ever. After all, we've been together since college. I thought I was going to marry him. Everyone did. So when my boyfriend decided out of the blue that we weren't right for each other my whole world fell apart. I buried myself in work, pretending I was okay, and patiently waited out the end of my lease, paying double what I can afford, before packing up my life into neat little boxes.

And that's how I ended up here, crying into my shirt sleeve and reminiscing on a lie. That's what it was after all. Seven years of my life down the toilet. Every memory, obstacle, and rite of passage in my life is tainted by his presence. I fucking hate him.

"Honey!'

I jerk my head up at the sound of my mom's voice. Even in my darkest moment, the mere thought of her is a comfort. I wipe the tears on the hem of my shirt and inhale sharply to give the appearance I'm not entirely falling apart. Not that I can ever get something passed her.

"Hey Mom," I say, opening the door.

"Camila," her voice is soft and comforting and it takes everything in me not to implode all over again.

She takes me into her arms, silencing my cries as she rubs soothing circles along my shoulders. Her voice murmurs soft words in my ear and I slowly feel the worries fall away. After all the tears, I really just needed to be held by the only person who's ever truly loved me.

"You ready?" she asks after a long while.

"Yeah," I reply softly. "Let me grab my bags."

My mom hushes me and points to the car before grabbing the bags herself. I sit down in the front seat feeling very small. It's been a long time since I sat in the passenger seat, twiddling my thumbs and sinking back in the lumpy seat. I watch as my mom pops the trunk and lugs the two suitcases in the back before getting in next to me.

It's a long drive back to my old hometown and it feels foreign as we drive past the once familiar streets. Neither of us says much, mostly just listening to the radio playing in the background. The whole time I replay our relationship, wondering when he decided he was just sick of us...sick of me.

I don't even remember falling asleep when I wake up as we pull in front of the hotel my parents manages. It's a majestic building with an art deco exterior and a regal wrought iron gate guarding the entrance.

"What are we doing?" I ask sleepily.

"Me and your dad put the house on the market, we're buying a smaller one," she explains. "We're staying here for now."

I'm so shocked I can't even muster a response. I thought I was coming home and now I'm trapped in a hotel. Not to mention I'm so single it hurts. But my exhaustion outweighs my anger and nothing can get between me and a freshly made bed. So we grab the bags from the trunk and my mom takes me up to the top floor and hands me a key to the corner suite.

"I gave you the bigger room," she says kindly. "Your father and I just on the other side of the adjoining door. Try not to go overboard charging stuff to the room, okay?"

"Thanks Mom," I say sincerely.

She hugs me tightly, pressing a soft kiss into my hair. I'm exhausted from crying so much, but mainly from the realization that I haven't been happy for the last year. It's more than just the breakup. It slowly sets in that neither of us was making an effort toward the end. We got complacent and I guess I took him for granted. We both did. By the end we barely spoke to each other and I can't even remember the last time we had sex. I guess we'd become more like roommates than lovers. But I never thought he'd just leave me.