Part 1. So Much For My Happy Ending

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I closed my eyes tightly, pursuing my lips together, whilst trying to not let the tears fall from my eyes, as they began to prick them sharply, as Elizabeth said those words. I then slowly opened them again, lowering my head down to admire my own engagement ring, as I began to twirl it around my ring finger with my thumb, thinking about the words that James had told me, when he proposed. I smiled softly too myself, as for days now I have replayed those words over and over within my head, as a way of comfort, so that one day I will hopefully be able to hear them again from his own lips once more.

"Anne is everything alright?". Elizabeth said softly, pressing her nose gently against my cheek. I turned my head to her and smiled, as I patted her hands that were around my waist, as a way of telling her that I was fine, but to also tell her too let go. "Yes, yes I'm fine". I softly replied, as I made my way over to the chair and sat down upon it heavy with a huge sigh, leaving Elizabeth to stand alone beside the window. "Perhaps your right, he shall come back and I just need to keep the faith and hold it dear to my heart and in my head, that he shall return alive and then we can finally have our happy ending, just like you and Will". I began to shakingly breathe out.

I couldn't help myself anymore and once again just like all the other times that it has happened, I let my emotions get the better of me and I began to cry, the tears streaming down my face as I covered my eyes. Elizabeth came rushing over to me, sitting upon the arm of the chair and pulling me into a tight hug from my left side. "Shhh everything will be alright Anne, you'll see". She hummed, as she kissed the top of my head. Although, I don't seem how she could, after all I have become very un-lady like recently and I have hardly been changing my clothes or even washing my hair, as I didn't seem the need for it. When the maids came to help me do all those things, I simply turned them away, as I was too upset and in the depths of dispare, to even think about the simplest of things. I mean of course I would have a wash, to preserve myself from any embarrassing hygiene moments, but I could not stay in the bath long enough to wash my hair, as the thought of slipping into madness and plunging myself under the water, did infact cross my mind from time to time.

So most of the time, I was placing my red haired locks into a somewhat messy side plait, which I braided to the right side of my head. My wardrobe was not much to look at either, as I was wearing a simple white night dress, which resembled something that looked like a potato sack, as it was truly crumpled and in need of a good seeing too. Elizabeth's lullfull sushes, helped to calm me down, finally making the crying stop, as I wiped my tired eyes. Did I also mention that I was hardly sleeping, since James had left. Oh god, how I wish he would just turn up at the door, so I knew that he was safe, I thought to myself. "Yes, yes, you are right, I'm being silly and I should look to the bright side of this and not let my worries get in the way". I shakingly breathed out, as I wiped the glistening salty droplets from my greeny-blue eyes and cheeks.

"That's the spirit, dearest sister". Elizabeth replied softly, as she placed her chin upon my head and began to rub my left arm with her hand, in aid of a way to comfort me. "Now perhaps what shall make you feel more better, is if you got yourself washed and put on some clean clothes and took care of your unwashed hair and then you can come and help me to pick out the flowers, that I shall be having for my wedding". I never replied to her, as I sat staring into the roaring fire within the fire place, that was stinging my eyes. "Th-a-at tis if you wish t-t-too of course". Elizabeth continued. I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to her, smiling sweetly. "Yes of course it tis, I couldn't think of anything else that would make me more happier than to help my oldest sister, plan her wedding, now come on what are we waiting for, let's see what we can put together aye?". I asked her, before jumping to my feet and grabbing her by the hand, whilst running over towards the door, swinging it open and running out of the room with Elizabeth in toe, making her giggle at my actions. With so much excitement, I had completely forgotten what Elizabeth had told me to do, so I guess that people should just have to put up with my appearance for now.

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