Ferry Boats and Scrub Caps

Wile E. Coyote and Hair Product

Derek felt the spray from the ruddy Hudson river as he leaned over the rung on the lower deck. He didn't feel like going to the top today. He'd just been dumped. Just after Grad too. It had been a surreal experience played out on the bleachers of the empty high school track.

The wooden bench uncomfortable, the paint was chipped and revealed slowly rotting wood. Derek rubbed the irritated pimple on his cheek. Heather said for him to meet her there. He twisted upon hearing footsteps behind him. She appeared on the stairs above, a couple of her girlfriends in tow behind her. Something was up, he knew. She'd been avoiding him all day. And last week his usually bubbly girlfriend seemed sad. Heather separated from her friends and stood beside his seated form.

He rubbed his knees, "Heather, what's- what's going on? Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly.

Heather sucked in a deep breath as she sat on the bench below and faced him. Her green eyes flicked past him for a second, getting support from her friends. He knew that look. He had too many sisters to not be fooled.

"Heather?"

"Derek, um... you're really nice-" she started.

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Yeah... yes."

He felt like Wile E Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons. If he looked up there'd be an anvil falling- or a piano. 'Don't look up' he told himself. "Why?" he asked, turning his hands palm up.

Heather looked down and picked at the hem of her white skirt. "I just- I think I love Tony."

Okay, he didn't look up, but the anvil definitely hit him now. His head spun. Tony? Tony? The pompous, slick, head of debate club? How did this happen? When? How did he not know?

"You're nice, and sweet... and you play the guitar," Heather was saying, but he was barely listening. "But I just don't love you like you deserve. Tony kissed me last week, and I kinda kissed him back." Heather was wringing her hands and there was tears in her eyes.

You know the part in the cartoons where the stuff that falls on the characters just gets bigger and bigger? Well after the anvil was the piano, then a 2 tonne weight, then a train, then a ship. Derek felt like that. He swallowed. "Oh," he managed. He felt woozy. Wile E Coyote held up a sign: I surrender.

He swallowed again, his Adam's apple bulging against pale skin. Heather sighed and put her hand on his. "You were my first boyfriend," she said. "And I'm glad it was you and not some jerk. I'm sorry, Derek." Her gaze flicked back up to her girlfriends. "I have to go... Maybe I'll see you around?" she offered a tiny smile.

He couldn't reciprocate. He just sat there alone on the bench. In cartoon land, Wile E Coyote was wrapped in bandages, staggering along the desert road, a huge goose egg growing out of the top of his head.

Now on the ferryboat, Derek watched the far side of the river slowly shrink in size. Like an old film machine, a movie of his relationship was flipping through his mind... and he just couldn't see it. He loved Heather, or he thought he did. He did all the right things didn't he? Flowers? Check. Walk to class? Check. Make nice with Heather's friends? Check. Frequent dates? Check. Impress parents? Check. Kissing? Check, check, check. Was it the kissing? He was a good kisser, at least he thought so... how do you know if no one tells you? Was that it? No... Heather liked his kisses.

Then what?

"There you are Derek. Good God, I had to check every floor for you, what in the world are you doing down here?"

He jerked up at his sister Kathleen's voice. What was she doing here? "Kathleen..." he said icily. Nancy must've talked. She'd seen him leave in a huff after school.

"So... Nancy said you and Heather-"

"Yeah." He said. "Go away. I don't wanna be shrinked."

Kathleen snorted, "Hardly Derbear, I'm only two years in."

"Whatever. Go away."

"No," She said indignantly. "I have just as much right to be here as you do."

"Fine. But I'm not talking."

His older sister shrugged and turned around so her back was against the rail. "So... she didn't love you. Poor Derek."

He bit his cheek to keep himself from saying something mean.

"It's high school," Kathleen continued. "Nothing lasts in high school. High school... is training alright? You learn the basics, you practice... you have fun."

"I loved her." He finally said.

"No you didn't. You experienced infatuation. She was attractive to your hormone filled brain, and so you chased her, and it felt good. But that's not love."

"What's love then?" He asked.

Kathleen shook her head, "Hell if I know... I just study brain chemistry. Mom says you'll know."

"I thought I did."

"So... what are you going to do now?"

Derek shrugged.

Kathleen sighed and turned back to face the river again. "Oh, before I forget..." She dug in her humongous purse and pulled out a squat cylindrical jar.

"What's this?" Derek asked as Kathleen handed it to him.

"Pomade. For your hair. Time for a new look, I think. Don't you?"

He stared at the jar like it was radioactive.

"What do I do with this?"

"Stick it in your hair? I don't know... ask a barber. Mom bought it for you. Dad used to use it all the time, apparently."

"Dad had nice hair," Derek said.

"Yeah," Kathleen sighed wistfully.

He stared at the jar. In his mind, Wile E Coyote was opening a new ACME box. A brand new plan already in the works. Hair product huh? He ran a hand through his curly locks. He needed a cut. "So what- should I get a motorcycle too?" He asked, grinning.

Kathleen groaned, "Whatever floats your boat, Derek."

He laughed.

He found New Beginnings on a ferry boat.