Chapter 4 : The letter that mom left behind

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Suho did not bother with the debate in the living room as he comforted Aunt Qin and thought about the letter that his Mom left behind before she committed suicide.

The letter was passed to Suho by Aunt Qin when he turned twelve. It said that this letter was to be kept by Aunt Qin until the appropriate time came. The majority of the letter’s content was about how inadequate she was as a mother. Yet, because of how little will she had to live on, she could only pray that her son would continue to live a better life while enjoying the family warmth that she could not feel anymore. In that letter, his mom did not complain much about his father’s betrayal, with only subtle hints that she was too naive to simplify every problem that she faced, thinking that love would balance everything out. It went on about how she did not truly understand a wife’s role in a relationship, and did not do well in maintaining a good rapport with her mother-in-law. She hoped that her son would be a different person. That unlike her, he would treat his partner with sincerity, include that person in his life, love them and be considerate of them.

As he recalled the words in his mom’s letter, Suho felt horrible. He could not understand what kind of pain and torture his mother went through back then. To the point where she would continuously remind her son that, should the day come when he made a promise with that special someone, he must stay true to his words and never let that person down no matter what. Perhaps what she wanted the most back then was his father’s understanding and to be his one and only. But, she was destined to be disappointed – less than half a year after her passing Congmin entered the Lee family together with her three children. Just like that, she became the family’s lady in charge. His father’s face was filled with happiness, he only had that woman and her three children in his eyes, pampering and loving them. His wife’s recent passing was long forgotten in the back of his mind.

What made Suho really puzzled in the last paragraph of his mother’s letter. The letter said that Suho must stay with the Lee family until the day he got married, and that if he were to marry a girl he loved then there was no need to inform the Kim family. He really couldn’t make sense of what his mother was trying to tell him. According to Aunt Qin, back then his mother had already severed ties with the Kim family, hence she rarely mentioned anything about them. On the few occasions she did mention them, she claimed that she was no longer entitled to talk about her family.

The reason why Junmyeon ’s surname was kim, and not Lee , was probably his mother’s way of remembrance and repayment towards the kim family. But Junmyeon had sincerely never thought of contacting the Kim family at all. Regardless of if he were to marry a wife or to marry a man like how it was now.

As he returned to his room, Aunt Qin sat in front of Suho as she sobbed quietly, “suho, what should we do? Are you really going to marry a man as his wife? If your mother were to know about this, she’d be so heartbroken. My dear child, what are we going to do? Aunt Qin couldn’t even bear to say anything harsh to a child like you, how could they be so heartless and push you into a living hell for the sake of their own position and wealth? My poor child, what are we going to do? Hanji , please bless Suho , don’t let them ruin him just like that. *sobs* My dear child, what should we do, what should we do? Aunt Qin is so useless, I can’t help you with anything. I don’t even have any rights to say anything fair for you while they insult you so grievously. Suho, Suho …” the more Aunt Qin said, the harder she cried.

Suho panicked and pulled some tissues out to wipe off Aunt Qin’s tears as he comforted her, “Aunt Qin, don’t cry. If you jeopardize your health because of that, I’ll feel really bad.”

Suho’s eyes were also brimming with tears – Aunt Qin really doted on him. She did not have any children in her entire life, hence treating him like her own son. For the ten odd years since his mother’s passing, Aunt Qin had always been the one taking care of his well being. Their relationship was no different from a bond between a biological mother and son, or even closer compared to many other average family’s relationship. This was why Aunt Qin was so heartbroken seeing Suho treated that way.

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