Chapter 13 Wabash, Indiana - Aurora

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Little Sammy thought I wouldn't recognize him after all this time. Not with those scars on his face, dressed up like a real human person, flashing an FBI badge he stole from god knows whom.

He's gone, but I'm sick to my stomach anyway. It's like he's still here, now that I know he's here and he is alive. But he's pissed. He's really pissed. The way he looked, desperate. Like there's nothing but his anger and sadness keeping him alive now.

And that means Arthur's dead. That's the only thing I figure could get him this mad, is if Arthur died trying to stop Angel from killing all those people. And of course Arthur thought he could.  So Sam is going to avenge him. And he won't rest until my Angel is dead.

Except neither of us know where he is.

I hate it. I hate all of it. I hate knowing now that Arthur must be dead and Sam isn't. That's really cruel. I thought if Angel did kill 'em at least he'd have had the heart to kill them both so that one didn't have to go on without the other. But Sam did he's still alive and now he's just gonna die too when he finds Angel. I don't know what plan he might have, but it can't possible be good or work. Nothing'll work on Angel.

But why isn't he here? Didn't he want to look for me? Why didn't he? He didn't know I was pregnant. Not unless Arthur told him. I'm gonna assume Arthur knew. It's safe to assume Arthur knows everything.

But the secret died with him. And if Angel is alive, and I can't imagine he's not, then why didn't he come find me? He swore he'd always be there. I know that sounds stupid now to think when I'm thirty two that a sixteen year old boy's promise in the rain should mean that much to me. But it does because he meant it. He meant what he said. He would want to know his own child. Wouldn't he? How could he not, we're the only family he has?

And never have I wanted him more now than this rainy lonely night. Rainy nights used be filled with mystery and brilliance. Stumbling in doors. Hiding from the rain in his warm arms. Now they're just night with no light no moon or stars to guide your way. I'm alone now like I've always been.

Except Sam's come. And he's looking for war. And Lord knows he'll find it. Once he finds Angel.

Angel where are you?

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