TW: Descriptions of a case, mentions of death, self harm, attempted suicide, PTSD, blood, and panic attacks.
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You and Spencer walked into the bullpen together and and continued to the round table. You saw that everyone else was there so you took your usual seat next to Spencer.
"Garcia, go!" Hotch commanded
"Charleston, SC. Six victims. Two at each scene. Each victim is shot once in the temple in their car. Each scene has one survivor. A teenage girl that was sitting in the backseat. All survivors had y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes and aged from 15 to 17." Garcia stated. Pictures flashing across the screen.
You immediately looked to Spencer to see that his eyes were already on you. He placed a hand on your knee to try and comfort you but you pushed it off. He looked at you confused.
"Fuck." You whispered but not quietly enough.
"Y/L/N. You alright?" Hotch asked and immediately all eyes were on you.
"Excuse me." You said standing up and running out of the room with tears starting to fall down your face.
You ran into the bathroom. You were sobbing at this point. You leaned up against the cold wall and slid down it. You were hyperventilating, shaking, and sobbing. A panic attack. You hadn't had one of these since the night at Spencer's. You heard a knock at the door.
"Y/N? You in there?" You heard Spencer ask.
You couldn't respond. All you could do was sob. The door flung open when you started to sob louder. You were sitting with your knees to your chest, your arms wrapped around your legs, and you head resting on your knees with your back against the wall. Spencer knelt down to you. Similar to how he did in his bathroom.
"Y/N. Hey. Look at me." Spencer said softly.
You lifted your head and met his gaze. His eyes were soft and his eyebrows were furrowed, not in confusion but in genuine sorrow. He smiled a small smile at you. You kept crying. He reached his hand out to your face and wiped your tears.
"Take a deep breath with me okay?" He asked.
All you could do was nod.
"In 1..2..3..4. Hold 1..2..3..4. Out 1..2..3..4." You followed his counting and focused on him.
"Good job. Do it again. In 1..2..3..4. Hold 1..2..3..4. Out 1..2..3..4." You did it again feeling yourself relax slightly.
"You feeling better?" He asked wiping your tears.
"A little." You said quietly.
"What do you want me to tell the team?" He asked.
"Nothing. I'll do it. It has to be me." You said.
"Okay. I'll be right there the whole time if you need me." He said calmly.
"Thanks."you said with a small smile.
"Let's get you up off this dirty floor." He said standing up and extending his hand to you.
You grabbed his hand and he pulled you up. Immediately after your were standing he pulled you into a tight hug. You stood there for a minute just holding each other. He pulled back and cupped your cheeks wiping your tears. He then placed a chaste kiss on your forehead in a comforting measure. He leaned his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes.
