Under the Rose

Chapter 15 | Just for Now

Caus pulled his arm crudely from the creature's chest and it fell immediately in a pool of its own blood. The blood reached my toes and I pulled my legs closer to my chest to avoid it. I looked up again to see Caus crouched in front of me, showing no regard for my sudden discomfort at his closeness. His reptilian eyes shone a bright gold as he glared at me, narrowing them. I had to look away. It wasn't so much because of his otherworldly appearance, but it was his intense gaze. He was always too freaking intense.

The back of a clawed finger pressed gently into my cheek to turn my face toward his, and he held it there until I looked at him. When I did, his human face was back. He kept some of his features, like the horns and the claws, just like last time. It was odd to see him like that in a suit, but it was also kind of . . . striking.

"You really weren't going to call for me? Krampus really aren't kind to tainted souls; you could've died. What, is that what you were planning? Is dying better than having me near you?" I blushed, ashamed as my gaze dropped again. "Answer me, Elliot."

"I was about to call for you!" I exclaimed, my fingers curling into the cold, dead grass. "I-I panicked, and I wasn't thinking straight—"

"Any later, and I wouldn't have made it in time. Do you grasp that the situation could've been a lot different in just a moment? You could've been taken, or killed and then taken; the list of everything that could happen to you, especially because you're human, is endless. Void's Halls, what the fuck goes through your head? I sympathize with Ristajh because I ordered him to watch you and intervene if something ever happened. Now, I feel that may have been too much to ask. Christ on a cross, what am I going to do with you?"

I watched him throughout his rant, baffled at the fact that he actually seemed troubled. If anyone should be distressed in any way, it's me. "You know, I wouldn't have felt the need to run in the first place if you had just stayed in the Void, the home you seemed to love so much when I needed you. I mean, seriously, are you getting upset with me right now? I was just nearly killed by a fucking bedtime story, and you want to sit here and tell me how much of a nuisance I am? And so what if that's what I was planning? What the fuck is it to you? Don't chastise me for having thoughts of an easy way out when the only reason you need me is for your own gain."

He stopped and just stared at me in complete astonishment. I dared him with my eyes to tell me I was wrong. I concluded a while ago that I was far more important to his plans than he was letting on. Otherwise, why would he go to such lengths for me? Why would he even have someone watch my back when our contract was nearly void? Why, especially, would he be so frustrated about my death or wellbeing? Something bigger than I thought is going on, and he wasn't going to tell me. He's planning something, and if I'm involved, I want no part of any of this.

I let out a ragged breath when he slowly rested my face in his gentle hands, like he was trying to calm a frightened animal. The claw of his thumb swiped across my cheek and came away wet. I didn't even realize I was crying. Goddammit, I was so angry, so frustrated and done with all of it. I just wanted my life back. Why did he do this to me? What have I done to warrant any of this? He can die for all I care. I wanted him to rot in the Void and never feel, see or hear anything again. I wanted him to—

"I'm sorry."

I looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in vexation at his words. I couldn't say anything. What could I have said to that? Apology accepted? Absolutely not. Nothing was ever that easy, and he had to know that.

He suddenly but tenderly pulled me forward until I was in his arms, my chin resting on his shoulder. I was stiff with shock. He tightened his arms around me to pull me closer, burying his face in the crook of my neck.