CHAPTER 41 - COPE

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Draco didn't realize the horrible caveat to Plan DBR. For some stupid reason, he only planned up until Dooms Day. He didn't even think of what was supposed to happen after he broke Harry's heart. Now that Harry knew he was a Death Eater, he had to actually be a Death Eater. He had to keep going with it, which he wasn't prepared for since he'd been detaching himself from the role for so long.

Now in Harry's mind, Draco was evil, like Umbridge, like Voldemort, like the Dursley's. And Draco had to keep up the facade if this was going to work. That meant being evil.

Gone were the days of laughter. Gone were the days of sweet notes and inside jokes. Gone were the days of smiling; he was a Malfoy now. And conforming to the Malfoy rules was exhausting, because it was truly a list of how not to be human—though there was no faster way to become truly evil.

And what was worse now, Draco had a taste of being human. He understood smiling and fell in love with laughter. He loved hugs and kisses and touches. He loved talking about his day and listening about the same mundane things from another.

But given this raw pain, maybe he didn't want to be human. Maybe being a Malfoy was a good thing.

It might be painful to transition back into a cold-hearted, scheming demagogue... if it spared him any of this.

It was an option. And it might have been a necessary one.

To avoid everything, including Harry of course, Draco hid in his room for as long as he could get away with until there was a heavy knock on his door.

Draco refused to get out of bed, so he flicked his wand and the door sprung open.

Pansy stormed inside. "Enough of this. You're getting sick."

"I already was." Draco sniffed. His heart ached so much, it was difficult to move.

"Draco, you need to function."

"What's the point? My life is over." He squeezed Scar tight to his chest, pretending it was Harry.

He'd never get a hug from Harry again.

"Not your life with Potter."

"Of course it is," Draco snapped. "I broke the bond. There's no way I didn't with how much it hurts in my core. We're done. It's over." Though his eyes hadn't changed. But there was no way, with how much hatred that they shared, that they were still soulmates. He couldn't accept that though. There was no way that Harry ever loved him after this

"Well, you still have to pull the mission off."

Draco just wiped his eyes, which were red, puffy, sore, and mercury. His head throbbed for a lack of sleep, because he and Harry were together in his dreams, and even his body knew that was too good to be true, so it forced him to wake up every time he slept. "Why?"

"Don't you want to protect Potter?"

"By murdering the last adult that can probably give him any means of protection?"

"This isn't about you two at all. I know you're heartbroken, but it's bigger than this. If Potter dies, then the Dark Lord will take over everything. You need to get through this to protect him."

He opened his mouth to argue, which he really could have if he wanted to. He had a lot of pent up range and hurt inside of him he'd love to get out. But he didn't. Because Pansy would never understand what this felt like. "Whatever."

Then, to avoid anyone and everyone, Draco hid in the Room of Requirement most of his time. He didn't go to classes for two and a half weeks, making him successfully hidden in there. Most of his professors talked to Snape, who gave excuses.

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