I Hate Football Players 3 | 18+

Chapter 117: Harper

It's all just fantasy anyways, hopefully she gets that.

Once I burn it, just like Mom, poof. Outta sight, outta mind.

"Harper.. what the - oh my gawd!" Ellie's wide eyes lifted up to mine and the paper rustled slightly as her hand shook. "This is about... Jake? Are you... serious? You and my brother Jake doing this... stuff?"

Disgusts me just as much.

I nodded but made absolutely clear the obvious fact, "There is no me and Jake."

She tossed me an impassive look like none of her believed me, so I added, "Just lingering dirty thoughts that I never acted on. Sorry, I've... been in a dry spell. Seeing him again got my lady bits all worked up, apparently I'm that desperate for any form of testosterone."

In case she needed a further push, I emphasized, "Trust me, there's no feelings there."

Ellie's eyes moved from my expression, which I hoped looked sincere enough since that emotion generally wasn't in my vocabulary, down to the paper. Her lips parted, she pursed them slightly, then looked down again.

"That's putting it mildly, shit Harper." Ellie's eyes scanned the paper. "This is quite the naughty list. And the fact these, umm... items have anything to do with my brother, that's just -"

"Wrong, I know. I'm beyond freaked out by my own brain, trust me. But they're only thoughts Ellie, I assure you I have no interest in doing them." My foot twitched at the blatant lie, so I pretended that I tapped it into the concrete floor of the garage. "So all the better to burn them... Please."

"Harper, don't you -" Ellie started her hope-filled 'think you should try' suggestion that none of me wanted to hear the end of, so I interrupted and shut that shit down before it started.

"The sooner I can get that asshole out of my head, the better." I sighed and took the list out of her hand. "Especially since we're going on that ski trip, I can't be in the same small space without burning these thoughts out of my brain. I don't want to do something we'll all regret."

Ellie only shook her head, which meant she silently disapproved of my methods. They were atypical, I understood that completely, but appreciated how she stood silently and without any air of judgment. I reached up to an empty coffee can that sat on a workbench shelf and stuck Mom's envelope inside first.

Right when my hand lingered over the can with my 'naughty with Jake' list and dropped it inside, Ellie's hand grabbed my wrist. "You have to read them off, put them out in the universe, then burn them," she insisted.

"Fuck, fine," I relented, grabbed the paper, and handed it to Ellie in a silent 'you read it' gesture.

Ellie's eyes narrowed and she looked anything but amused. "First... Harper, I can't say these words. Not yet at least. I'm going to step inside for a bathroom break, so for the sake of my ears read them while I'm gone and I'll come back with more matches, okay?"

"Weakling," I teased her with a quiet giggle.

Never send a sweetheart to do a sinner's work.

My heart thumped a few beats faster while I held up the list and read off each item in as monotone a voice as I managed, although the associated mental images and suggestive urges they inspired told me four nights trapped in a cabin with Jake might be harder than I'd thought.

With a slight cough that cleared my throat, I pulled down my shoulders, straightened my spine, and muttered, "Have Jake cook me a meal butt-naked so I can hand jerk him off at the stove."