Unhinged √

40.

      Talking to your best friend beats punching a bag when you are going through pain but I don't want to stop the pain, everyone left me. Just a day after Travis left, Ingrid packed her things, apparently she found a little place close to the cafe and her NGO was giving her financial aid. I offered to pay for it but she wouldn't let me. It was obvious the guilt of Travis and my split was weighing on her so I let her go, not like I had the strength to stop her, I can't stop anyone.

Not Ingrid, not my mother, not Travis and certainly not the media who haven't shied away from milking the situations. There are new pictures, Zayn told me, from the hospital with Travis and he assured me that it is nasty.

The only thing I can stop is public appearances so for the last two weeks, I have been holed up in my house, because that is what it has been reduced to, just a mere cold building filled with torturous memories whose company have proven to be bittersweet because Travis hasn't come for the rest of his stuff or to kick me out and that leaves me with hope that I try to squish down everyday. Benson has been invasive with the calls, trying to find out what he can do to help which hasn't changed from nothing.

Coach on the other hand hasn't been that supportive of me skipping practice , especially after I missed that game. He has tendered every threat his skittle mind could come up with but I cannot bring myself to care about risking my contract with the lumbers.

A few friends and teammates both new and old dropped by within the first week but not once did I answer the door. The only person who ever makes his way inside is Zayn Rodriguez because the sly motherfucker is a little criminal. Not like I appreciate his company because all he does is whack me over the head, Meghan's orders.

I should be getting more sympathy, my boyfriend left me but all they do is sigh like I'm just being a baby.

"When are you going to grow a pair?" Pokello Harden yawns on the other end of our call while I go through my second box of pizza.

"He left me".

"That is what you keep saying and we get it. Sometimes when people leave, it's because they want you to go after them".

"I did go after him, I've been to your house five times. It's like the cycle is repeating itself".

"Maybe he is a stubborn pitbull, that doesn't mean you have to give up or don't you want him anymore?"

"You know I do but maybe the relationship was toxic for him. He almost died, Kello".

"That has happened a dozen times and is probably gonna happen two dozen more. You are not leaving him because he has allergies".

"Well, technically, he left me".

"Stop saying that! Stop playing the victim".

"Why not? He always runs away, even when he specifically said he wasn't going to do that".

"Have you stopped to think that maybe he left because he stopped feeling wanted".

"Well, he might have said that". I mutter and she sigh. "How is he doing?"

Travis has been staying at her place since the breakup and I haven't set eyes on him since. Whenever I go over, he pointedly refuses to see me.

"He goes to work everyday, even on Sunday and when he gets back, he locks himself up until he has to go to work again. Bottom line? He is miserable. I think the only reason he hasn't destroyed any furniture is because he knows I'd light his ass up".
Silence stretches for a while.

"Look, you both have been through a lot but in all of this, the only thing that is glaring is that you belong together. So get off your pathetic ass and sort things out once and for all". At the end of her speech she is practically yelling and I want to laugh because she is right, Travis and I do belong together and there is nothing stopping us except us.