i think we're okay

xiii. - her dark history

scan·​dal·​ous

\ ˈskan-də-ləs  \

" offensive to propriety or morality "

•

h.s.

Laddie ended up taking me to some random, snow-covered field miles away from Grimmauld Place where no one was to be seen and there were no buildings or people in sight.

"I sincerely hope this isn't your grand plan to murder me," I hated the idea of him besting me before I ever had a chance to do him in, even in a joking way,"Not that I haven't always wanted to die in a barren, frozen wasteland, but.."

"Unfortunately not," he winked, flashing me a grin that most people would grow weak at the knees at,"but there's always tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes, bundling closer to my scarf and jacket,"Then why, grand sultan, have you brought me to this random ass field?"

"For this."

Barely a second later, Laddie yelled out the most guttural, raspy scream I've ever heard someone make without being in physical pain. But I had a feeling he was in pain, just not in the physical sense.

Once he stopped, he was out of breath. His deep, heavy breaths showed up as puffs of hot air in the freezing climate and he turned to me, looking less tense than before,"Try it. It works."

"Why?"

"Think about how much you need to show Luke that you don't give a shit. That everything about him makes you so livid that you can't barely think about him without wondering about how good his throat in your hands would feel. That's why," Laddie's face was contorted in pain, his eyes slowly filling with tears but refusing to let them fall,"to show him that you don't fucking care."

So, I did. I took in a deep breath, waiting a few seconds of silence engulf my senses..before I let everything out.

Screeching, screaming, yelling, and cursing came out of my mouth. I tore through the snow, kicking and plowing it, and punched a random tree until bark went flying. My throat went raw, my eyes stripped of their skin from crying so hard, my fingers and palms chapped.

Eventually, I stopped. I didn't look at Laddie for what felt like hours, but I gave in as I looked up at him and saw his content expression,"Better?"

I swallowed deeply, knowing that, deep down, I did. I nodded. Laddie smiled solemnly. And I wasn't sure why I was being so comfortable with a guy I've hated my entire life..but I didn't care. Just like I didn't care about Luke Patterson anymore.

"Better."

•

July 7th of 1991 was the day I realized I hated Laddie Viziri and I would never be his friend because I wanted to.

Laddie had just started going by his nickname after throwing a bitch-fit over Aziz calling him "flower" every chance he got since Ladan means flower in Arabic, the Viziri family's native tongue. I, personally, didn't think it was a big deal. Laddie, on the other hand, thought it was the most traumatizing thing for his thirteen year old self to experience.