Chapter Twenty One

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Anastasia Ivanov

Holy fuck. I cannot believe that we did that. I'm aching so bad but so good. He fucked me like no other and I would let him do it again and again. 

Although I was drunk, I was still thinking straight and I wanted him more than anything. I fucking hate this. I've grown attached to this man and I know he can leave me at any moment. He could kill me right now. 

And honestly, I'd let him. 

I'm scared. He has this control over me that I've never experienced and it's scary. I've been awake for about 30 minutes now. I've been here laying in his arms for 30 minutes. It's still a little dark outside so it must be around 5 to 6 in the morning. My head rests on his chest and he has his arms over me with our legs intertwined.

I want to stay here all day, maybe even forever but I can't. 

Fuck. I'm thirsty. 

I move my arms to the side of us so I can push myself off of him but his hold gets tighter. 

"Alessandro, let me go." I whisper. "I'm thirsty."

"Didn't you drink enough?" His voice is tired and raspy, but has a hint of playfulness. I roll my eyes at his comment.

"Please." 

"You've been up for the past thirty minutes, please sleep." Fuck. He knew I was awake and didn't say anything. 

"Can I just get some damn water?" He stays silent for a minute and then kisses the top of my head finally releasing me. All of a sudden, I wish he didn't let go. 

I get up and bend down to pick his shirt, buttoning it up as I can feel his eyes on me.  I just know he's watching me and I don't even have to turn around to know it. 

"You can stop staring at me now." I turn around to catch him looking at me and he closes his eyes, still smiling.

"Why would anyone stare at you, amore?" 

I laugh at him and walk out to get my water. We're fully sober now and we're getting along. And he didn't leave me this time. I'm not going anywhere. Not for a while.

I bring my water back to the room and sit on the bed. I instantly feel his hands around my waist. I set my water on the nightstand besides us and let him pull me back in his arms. 

"Sleep now." His touch lingers on me and I can't help but comply.

-----

The sun peeking through the curtains is what wakes me up this time except I'm met with an empty side of the bed. 

I swear to god if that man fucked with my feelings again, I will chop his-

"Good morning." Alessandro stands at the doorway, shirtless, leaning on it with his hands in his grey sweats and his hair disheveled. His tattoos look more vibrant than ever and his muscles bulge as he crosses his arms. 

"Hi." My voice squeaks, afraid to do or say anything right now. Afraid to say the wrong thing, maybe.

"Believe it or not there's another mafia ball tonight." His voice sounds irritated but not too much, not as much as me.

I groan and twist my naked body under the sheets, hiding my face in the silk pillows. I stay like that until I'm joined with his broad shoulders and his addicting scent. His body lies with me with his hands wrap around my waist, giving me that sense of security again.

"I know, I know. These things are fucking dreadful but it's a matter of business. Trust me, why would I want men to eye fuck you as you wear one of those dresses huh." He speaks lowly in my ear and this causes me to smile. I love when he's jealous and I love feeling like I'm all his and no one else's.

I turn to face him. "Ah yes, the absolute worst." He smiles and it makes me smile. Then I remember I'm literally naked and I need a shower.  "I need to shower." I roll of the bed with the sheets still concealing my body and I stand up but I can't. I attempt once more but I fall back on the mattress once again. I'm so fucking sore. Holy shit. Behind me I can hear him laughing and I want nothing more but to slap him. 

"Need help, my love?" His tone is playful but I can't help but feel butterflies as he calls me that. I ignore it.

"Get you ass over here and carry me to the bath." He laughs some more before he reaches me and I hold out my arms waiting to get picked up like a baby. 

He tears the sheets from me and I'm naked in front of his eyes once again. 

"You bastard." I cover myself with my hands even though I know that won't do anything.

He bends down to grab me and I think that he's going to carry me bridal style, but instead he throws me over his shoulder, my bare ass in the air. 

"I hate you." I say this with laughter so hard as he smacks my ass. 

"But you don't." He replies back. He sets me down on the side of the bath tub and he turns the warm water on, letting it run until it's about 3/4 full. I sit in the bath tub engulfed by the soothing hot water. 

For the first time in my life, I feel complete. Like nothing in the world could possibly ruin me anymore. It's scary. But instead of pushing it away this time, I accept my happiness. It's foreign but it feels good. I can't help but want more. Greedy, I know but when it comes to him I'll do anything. I would die for him, I'm sure of it. 

If this is the devil's way of punishing me before he takes me, then I'm going to bathe in punishment for as long as I can. 

-----

Did you miss me? -XOXO, Renee 



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