when we were younger l.s.

033

Harry couldn't quite wrap his head around why Louis had began to pull away. The boy no longer walked with him to school, called him to say goodnight, and he didn't come over on Sunday for dinner. But, he did see him chatting up Danielle on Friday. So maybe he wanted something Harry could never give him. No matter how much he yearned to. 

Harry picked at the lint stuck to the side of sock. He loathed when his mother washed them with the towels. But, he always forgot to check under his bed for the loose ones. He looked over his Ap Lit book once more before slamming it shut. His mind unable to focus on the task at hand. 

All in all, he felt drained. Physically and emotionally. It hurt Annes heart to watch him fall apart over Louis once again. It was like watching her tiny little boy wither away. She took some time off to be there for him. But, he didn't want her to be. 

Soft voices could be heard from downstairs. It was odd. They weren't expecting company. His footsteps were small on the stairs. The voices in the kitchen heard. As their voices became rushed and lower. He peeked his head around the corner. "Gems!" He smiled and ran into his older sisters arms. "Wasn't expecting you anytime soon." Gemma giggled. Anne had a beautiful smile watching her two joys interact for the first time in months. Tear springing free in the moment. "I heard you weren't doing to well Haz. Came to check in with you." Harry sighed. "This isn't a pity party." She frowned. Harry looked down at his sock clad feet. She threw her hands up. "Okay! Fine no pity party. Chinese?" Harry smiled a little. His dimples showing. Gemma poked it. "Wow. You have just grown so much. I feel like I'm missing all of it." She dabbed at the corner of her eyes. Anne looks over from the dinning table. "The usual loves?" They both nodded, huge grins spread on both of their faces. 

Gemma snatched the remote from Harry's hands. "I am not watching The Notebook again! You pick it every time H." Harry giggles. "It's my favorite." He shrugged his shoulders as his older sister. "And that's okay! But we don't need to be reminded every time I come into town." He frowns. "This is your first time back since the divorce." She sighs. "I'm sorry Harry. I just couldn't bring myself to come back after everything y'know. It was hard leaving. But, you have no idea the strength it takes to come back." Harry wiped at his cheeks. Nodding along to his sisters words. Anne walks back in the room. Bowls of popcorn in both hands. "Still haven't picked?" Gemma plasters on a fake smile. "Yes we have mum. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days is the winner." Harry lays his head in his mum's lap. "That's okay with you honey?" He nods. No longer in the mood for family bonding. 

Two light taps came from the door and Harry frowned. He no longer wanted the burden of family on his back. He only wanted to talk to Louis. But, by he looks of it that seemed nearly impossible. "Come in." He called barely above a whisper. "Jeez H. Maybe speak a little louder." He let out a soft chuckle. Just so she would be pleased. 

She had sat down on the edge of his bed. But, no words were shared between the two of them. He didn't know where to start. She didn't know what to ask. Gemma breaks the silence between them by asking: "Are you still with Louis?" Harry breaks down into hysterics. "I don't even know Gems." Gemma pulls her eyebrows together. "What? You either are or you aren't. That isn't an I don't know question H." He wraps his arms around her waist and cries into her shoulder. "He hasn't called me or talked to me. I mean fuck! He hasn't made eye contact with me." Gemma rubs his back soothingly. "Then! Guess what! I catch him talking to Danielle! Everyone knows she likes him! It's like really? I can't even be mad because she can give him what I can't" Gemma scoffs. "She can give him what? A family! A family is built on love. Not relationship constructs. You should know this! We lived it." Harry nodded. "You're right. It's just the principle you know." He sits up and wipes his snot on his jumper sleeve. "If he doesn't want to be with me, I deserve an answer. Not to be in the dark like this." Gemma nods. "I'm sorry Harry." She pets his hair. "Just try and talk to him. Breaking yourself down over it won't solve anything love. You and I both know this." Harry nodded. He smiled up his older sister. "Thank you Gems." She grabbed his hand and squeezed. "This isn't my first rodeo." He rolled his eyes. "God you have spent too much time in America." She throws her head back in laughter. "You'd be surprised! The men there are quite attractive. Only the art or literature majors. They're the only ones politically aligned with me." Harry cackles and falls back on to his pillows. 

It three and Harry can't sleep. He contemplates matching over to Louis' and giving him a piece of his mind. But, he knows seeing him in the flesh would melt away any anger he has pent up towards him. So instead, he sends him a text:

Lou<3

I love you, but I don't deserve to be treated like this Louis. I deserve happiness and respect. At this very moment I am receiving neither from you. I am so disappointed in you. I hate you for filling my head with these ideas. I can hardly feel anything at all and I gave you all of me. Only to get 50% from you. I hate that I love you. Please, just talk to me. It's the least you could do. 

-H 

Authors Note!!!

Sorry this is so late! Ive been so wrapped up in my classes! Apologies to all of you my loves! Please vote and comment! 

also comment here if you realized were I quoted the song!!! 

love you guys!!!