Can't You See Me? ➳ Taegyu ✔

27. I'm Sorry

A/N: My dad let me take a mental health day today. I'm pretty sure my mom is coming back today, but I've been crying a lot. Also, because my room/basement flooded, I can't use the washing machine to wash my school uniform. And as if my week couldn't possibly get ANY FUCKING WORSE, I sliced my thumb open AND almost started an oil fire while making food for me and my siblings. I hope everything gets better when my mom comes home. I'm at my breaking point istg.

Update: She's back lol. I guess we'll see what happens.

Thank you all for your kind words though. It really means a lot to me ❤.

"You changed a lot..." Beomgyu said, taking a sip of his bubble tea and swinging his legs on the swing.

"It's not because of you. I had a lot of things going on and I wanted to get away. And in doing so, I changed myself. This isn't about you."

Beomgyu's eyes widened and he looked at him. "Then what is it about?"

Taehyun looked at all the kids playing at the playground and shrugged. "Everything. So in a way, yes, it was because of you. It was because of Mia and all the other students too. It was also because of my family. But it was mainly about me."

Beomgyu nodded. "Well I thought that part."

"You told me a bunch of insults that only I have ever told myself. You called me stupid and ugly, and that's when I really started believing that it was true." Beomgyu frowned. "But when I realized that you were the stupid one, I gained a little bit of confidence. I moved back to Busan because of all the horrible students at that school, but my parents thought the rumor was true, so I basically had no freedom until I got a job and moved out. And when I did move out, I decided to just work on taking care of my mental health."

Beomgyu felt tears welling in his eyes. Before, when he was a stupid barbie, he didn't think he was affecting anyone. The popularity made him think he could do anything and get away with it, but he now realized that he couldn't just say things to Taehyun without hurting his feelings.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You know."

"I do. But I want you to say it."

Tears started falling from Beomgyu's eyes and he quickly hid his face in his arm. "I'm sorry for just..." he took a deep breath and shook his head. "Everything. I deserve to suffer after what I fucking did to you. It was because of the popularity. It got in my head and I regret ever becoming friends with Mia and Soobin in the first place. And I know that isn't an excuse for what I've done, but-"

"Did she manipulate you like she did with Soobin?"

Beomgyu sadly shook his head and Taehyun's eyes widened. "Kind of... but it felt great being the center of attention for once. We were always outcasts, and I finally got most people to like me. I did everything willingly, and I fucking hate that. And I hate that I became popular and put you in the shadows. And I hate that I became a bully. And I hate that I gave Mia that random rumor and didn't stop her from using it on you. I don't know what the fuck happened to me."

Taehyun looked down at the mulch and licked his ice cream for a second. "That's a lot..."

"Yeah, it is. That's why it's so horrible. And I thought about it recently. How even after I became that horrible person, you still fought for me. That's crazy."

It wasn't crazy. Taehyun was happy for his friend at first, and then just felt kind of bad for him after a while.

He was being kind, even when Beomgyu wasn't.

"Even through all that, you never changed. You're still the kindest soul. How?"

Because I'm not like you.

"I just didn't change. I didn't take my pain out on other people. It was my battle that I was fighting with you, not anybody else."

Beomgyu's lips quivered. "And you're saying that's what I was doing?" Taehyun nodded. "I'm sorry..."

"You already said that!" Taehyun exclaimed, also getting emotional. "Stop it!"

"Then what do you want me to say?"

Taehyun didn't fucking know. He wasn't the one who should be deciding either. "I don't know."

"Fine..." Beomgyu stood up from the swing and stood in front of the younger boy. "I'll stop apologizing because it's getting on your nerves. And as much as I want you to, I don't expect you to forgive me. As much as I want you back in my life, I know it would take a lot for you to actually let that happen. I just need you to know that I regret everything and I fucking hate myself. And I'm sorry, okay?"

It seemed like he was saying the right things. But Taehyun didn't know.

"What about the rumor? That was really bad..."

"I know. Mia asked me for an idea for a rumor and I gave her one. I didn't expect it to be you, and I didn't expect it to go so horribly."

Taehyun's wet eyes widened. "You didn't make it about me?"

Beomgyu shook his head. "No. But... even after I found out it was you, I didn't tell anyone it wasn't true. So I was still horrible for that."

Damn right.

"I don't forgive you." Beomgyu frowned. "Yet." Beomgyu looked at him hopefully. "A few months ago you picked on someone for being a waiter, which was stupid." He hopped off the swing and smiled at Beomgyu who looked curious now.

***

"Now if you think this job is humiliating to someone rich like you, you can work here for a few days," Taehyun said, tying an apron around Beomgyu's waist. "You humiliated me, and now I'm "humiliating" you."

Beomgyu nodded sadly and looked at Taehyun. "Smart payback I see."

Taehyun smiled and handed him a mop. "Yup. Your first chore is cleaning the floor."

A/N: He's so gorgeous I'll cry.