It's like the whispers are there,
following me,
following every step I take,
the giggles behind my back and the conversations about me which build rumours and lies,
stories are told,
ones that are not true,
or ones that have built to become worse than they intended to be,
feelings are ruptured as people believe the lies of others too unkind to think twice before spreading hate and their own judgments,
I feel tears coming,
falling,
all the time,
but hold them back for the reaction to a "cry baby" is worse than the one to an innocent victim,
I hold my thoughts,
my feelings,
my expressions,
I show I'm happy,
I never show the inside,
Because Inside it tears me apart,
the pain and grief the things others say,
and the things others think,
The name calling,
the giggles,
the sarcastic faces and comments on every word I say,
everything I do,
Am I invisible?
Do I not matter to anyone anymore?
Why when I walk around,
am I behind others,
walking alone,
Why when I sit down does everyone ignore me,
move away from me,
turn away from me?
Is it because I'm invisible?
What have I done to be treated like this,
please tell me,
I'll change,
Is it because I'm different?
Is it because I care for others that you may class as bad or weird?
Is it because I'm not afraid to be myself?
The feelings have taken me,
ruined me and scared me,
It just makes me wonder;
why when I walk into a room it turns silent and others stare and I feel my spine freeze up and my palms curve up and my cheeks burn up and the giggles begin again,
It makes me wonder:
Just Why Me?
