The End of Summer

- Eight

It hurts.

I think I'm more hurt than I was when I arrived to Seattle.

•••
September 13

All my life I have believed love was in stories. I always believed the type of love that was shown in books and films was shown in a fictional world for a reason, I believed that love like that only existed in fairytales. It didn't seem real? And I had stayed on that mentality for years - all until I met you.

The comfort you gave me made me feel loved and I believe I was truly in love. I always wondered what true love was like, I always wondered if true love felt the same or looked the same as it did in books and films. I always wondered how one could be so blindly in love with another and how they felt. How those butterflies felt and why they made you swoon, I wondered how they made you fall in love and how it felt to have someone so alike but so different from you. I wondered and wondered and all my wonders disappeared when I met you.

- K

•••
September 16

I deleted our pictures.

I deleted all of your pictures and made sure I wouldn't be able to reach them. I threw away the notes you gave me, I threw away the necklace you gave me. Apparently, the more I delete of you the more will I forget about you and I thought it would work, I thought they were right and I just needed to give it time. I threw away everything I had left of you but it didn't work?

I came to realize it was because your memories are still alive. I can delete pictures, get rid of your stuff, but I can't get rid of your memories.

I still have hope I will somehow in someway run into you again so I took back everything hoping that one day I will see you again and be able to tell and show you all the stuff.

- K

•••
September 25

I'm crying and nothings wrong but nothings right either. I'm crying over nothing yet everything? I'm crying over our memories telling myself I don't miss you I just miss our memories, but more than anything I miss you. I'm crying over what you said yet I'm crying over what you didn't say. I'm crying because I loved you so fucking much but I hate you too much? I'm crying over you yet I'm crying over me?

I can't win, can I?

- K

•••

Only Angel <3

Are you coming?

I can't I'm so sorry! I'm supposed to go with Reed to look at the venues today! I'm really sorry I will make it up to you

It's fine! We can go next time, I'm heading out at 1 with Ivy and Jade
Ezra is busy at work

Yeah he told me last night

I gotta go! Love you <33

Me too! <33

•••

Angel had in mind for us to go out for breakfast and spend the morning together, all of us and I was planning on going but since yesterday, Reed said we would go out for the venues I had to cancel plans!

Sucks.

I was really excited for a morning with all of us! We haven't had a morning all together in a while so it sucks.