Access Denied: The Bullseye

Voice Entry 202

I think today's the Monday the 24th? Honestly, I have no idea. 

Anyway, here's your daily update guessing you're here. 

This was the norm now. She didn't emote or feel anything for these recordings now. What started as a journal had now become a way to pass her time that never seemed to end. She was tired of Blind Spot's casualty and repetitiveness, so it was only natural that her voice had the quality of a digital assistant reciting a shopping list. She held out her fingers one by one, counting the events of her day—she didn't hold up more than six fingers on any good day. Kiara came to see me today. She was with Davidson, and he looked peaceful? I think? I hope he wasn't really. I can't imagine being peaceful with you out there. 

I trained today, I guess. Not that it matters, I think I'm going to be stuck here forever. Nevi is in the infirmary again. She wished there was more emotion in her voice. She wished she had the energy to cry or think of anything other than her own helplessness and loneliness and of course her aversion to Blind Spot Agency. 

I think she attempted, but I really can't find myself to visit. I do want to, but she seems so far away. I didn't know she was struggling, no one did. And a part of me, part of me is happy she did it. At least someone did something here! Sometimes it feels like no one here cares. They're all so stony—so unaffected? 

I- I can't imagine them holding this all in, I'm barely coping, and I lost you. Sorry I haven't yet, have I?

Every time she comes to visit, Kiara I mean, she always tells me not to lose hope, but I can't help but think, are they really doing anything? They aren't. She knew. What's the life of an informant, someone not even considered an outsider to the agency. Expendable and replaceable, hardly someone they felt obligated to find or help or save. She doubted they helped their own. Afterall the cause was above all. There was no chance her father was going to be saved by Blind Spot with Davidson in charge of all people.  

I don't see anyone worried and truthfully why would they be? —the blind girl lost her only family but it's okay because he was a criminal who we're going to ignore helped us. She hit the red button, halting the recording and sitting with her thoughts. Behind these four walls, sometimes she felt caged. Sometimes she felt insane. No one to talk to except the occasional face asking if she needed any help or anything else. And truly all she wanted was her father. All she wanted was peace.