Secrets

He didn't know where else to go

Seonghwa found it especially difficult to wake up the next morning. His first thought was Hongjoong. He reached towards him, but when his eyes opened, he remembered he wasn't there.

But the knowledge that he'd have to lay next to his empty spot caused him to finally leave the bed and get dressed.

He needed to come up with a plan to get Hongjoong to understand. He was just processing the information. He would realize what JYP had done eventually, wouldn't he?

He could get him back. Couldn't he?

As he washed his face, he met his own eyes in the mirror and noticed how red and puffy they looked. He didn't care.

It would only add to his disheveled mess of an outfit. He'd hardly had the stamina to match his suit coat to his pants, much less tie a tie.

He ran a hand through his hair and called it good before heading out.

He didn't know where else to go.

So he went to Hongjoong's apartment.

He gathered his courage and walked up the stairwell, pausing at Hongjoong's floor. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and moved down the hallway.

As he reached it, he slowed again. Maybe this was just him being selfish. Maybe Hongjoong needed space. Why did he come all the way here?? Clearly Hongjoong didn't want to see him again.

This was a mistake.

He turned to head back to his car but stopped. His heart ached. He glanced back at the door, his eyes shining with tears.

He couldn't just do nothing. He needed to at least make sure he was okay.

He moved back to the door and gave a soft knock.

"Hongjoong?"

He waited a moment but didn't hear any noise.

He knocked again, a little louder.

Still nothing.

"Hongjoong, I'm sorry. I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now but I wanted to make sure you were okay. Just open the door and let me see you. Then I'll go. Okay?"

Still no sound.

Did he have the wrong apartment?

Seonghwa looked at the number again.

1117.

No, this was the right one.

Why wasn't he answering? Was he really that mad?

"Hongjoong, at least tell me to go away. Something to let me know you're there!"

Seonghwa started to panic. What if Hongjoong never made it home? What if he went out and got drunk somewhere and someone hurt him? What if he was kidnapped? All because he hurt him.

Seonghwa shook his head, dispersing the negative thoughts. There had to be a better answer. He must have gone somewhere else.

Seonghwa pulled out his phone and tried to think of anyone Hongjoong might have gone to and his thumb paused over Wooyoung and San.

It was possible.

He pressed Wooyoung's number and lifted the phone to his ear, biting his lip.

"I'm only answering because I have something to tell you."

Seonghwa felt his chest tighten.

"Is he there?"

"You don't get to know that information."

"Please Woo, I'm really worried about him—"

"As you should be. You're lucky I'm even talking to you after what you did to him."

"What did he tell you?"

"You know what—what gives you the right to call and be worried about him when clearly you're the one who made him so upset! I think you should just hang up and think about what you did until you come up with a big fucking apology—"

"—Woo! That's enough! Let me talk to him!"

Seonghwa heard San on the other end.

"Fine. But don't you dare go easy on him."

"I won't."

Seonghwa heard a door close and waited for San to speak before saying anything.

"Sorry, he didn't mean that. I mean—clearly you said something to hurt Hongjoong and I'm very upset with you for it but I'm worried about you, too. What the hell happened with you two?"

Seonghwa bit back tears.

"It's...really complicated."

"Then un-complicate it for me. Otherwise I'm going to have to hang up."

"Wait please don't! It's just—private. It had to do with his mom. I don't want to share anything he doesn't feel ready to tell you about."

"Oh. Okay, I understand. Did you say something about her that set him off?"

"No! Well...kind of. Like I said it's really complicated. I think—maybe if you ask him he could tell you. I don't want to give away anything he doesn't feel comfortable sharing. I didn't mean to hurt him, I'm trying to help. He just—refuses to accept it. Which I understand. I just need to find a way to prove that I'm still on his side."

"Okay. I'll talk to him and see if he wants to. I don't like the idea of either of you being hurt. So I'm going to do everything I can to help. Okay? Promise me you'll give him some space and time while I talk with him, okay? I think that's why he came here. So you wouldn't find him."

Seonghwa bit back another tear.

"Okay. Thank you, San. For everything."

"Of course. If you need to talk, you can always call."

"I will."

Seonghwa ended the call and slid down to the floor, his back against Hongjoong's door. He held his head in his hands and released the tears he'd been holding back this whole time.

Hongjoong didn't even want to see him. How had things gone so wrong so fast? How was he supposed to fix this?