Secrets

It would be pretty satisfying

Seonghwa woke up in his apartment, wishing he could stay in bed for the rest of his life.

Feeling Hongjoong's soft cheek pressed against his bare shoulder. Feeling his tiny hands holding onto his chest. Smelling his sweet shampoo with every breath.

But today was the day he had to confront his father.

He didn't want to talk to him ever again. Not after learning what he'd done.

But Hongjoong insisted they needed to get closure. And Hongjoong was right.

Seeing his father's shock when he tells him he's done hiding in the shadows. Seeing the anger on his face when he says he's going to take the whole company down with him.

It would be pretty satisfying.

But he feared the other parts. The part where his father would sneer at him with cold dead eyes. Would call him a fool for never figuring it out. Would accuse him of being just as culpable, especially since he'd handled many minor lawsuits for his father before.

They were never anything this severe but it was possible his father had been hiding the true details from him, hoping he'd just do his dirty work and not ask questions. Which is exactly what Seonghwa had done. He felt guilt creeping into his body.

What if he'd unknowingly left other children without a parent?

He felt his eyes welling up and reached to wipe his tears when a small hand met his own.

He turned and saw Hongjoong looking up at him, worry in his eyes. He pushed Seonghwa's hand down to the bed and reached with his own to brush the tears off, his thumb gently caressing Seonghwa's skin.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"It's nothing. I'm just—nervous about meeting with my father."

"I think it's more than that."

Seonghwa looked away and Hongjoong's hand stopped moving, holding his cheek.

"You know you can tell me. My demons are far worse than yours."

"The ones we know of."

Hongjoong turned his head.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm just saying, we don't even know what kind of part I hold in all of this. What if he's had me doing all of his dirty work without me knowing? I never asked questions. I did everything he asked."

"Did you do anything bad?"

"Well, no—but he could have obscured my task. Part of my job is to settle minor lawsuits. What if they weren't really minor?"

"You think you might be just as terrible as him."

Seonghwa looked at his hands, fidgeting with the sheets.

"Seonghwa, no matter what you did, you had no idea. If he made you do anything it wasn't your fault."

"That's not true. I could have just questioned him, even once. But I sat by, assuming he wasn't a monster. That makes me equally as horrible."

"No it doesn't. He knows what he's doing. He's seen the harm he can cause and he continues to do it. You never had any malicious intent. All you did was trust your father. Like anyone would."

"Like a complacent idiot."

"Don't call yourself an idiot."

"Well I am one, aren't I? I mean I never even suspected him and he's one of the only people I ever knew until a few months ago!"

"Which explains why you trust him. He was all you had."

Seonghwa bit his lip. That was the biggest reason this was hurting him so much. He'd always trusted his father. His father was his hero. An example of what he wanted to become.

And now...to learn he was a monster...it still didn't sit right with Seonghwa.

"You're still thinking about it."

Seonghwa turned back, releasing his bleeding lip. He hadn't realized he'd bit down so hard. Hongjoong saw it and quickly ran his thumb over it, trying to clean it off.

"I think talking to him today will help. I know you don't want to. I know. It's just—I think seeing it with your own eyes, hearing it from him will help. Facing him for what he really is. If you keep this picture perfect ideal you'll never really accept it."

"Well it's certainly not picture perfect."

"Well that's not the poi—"

"I know. See the evil monster, forget the lying father."

"I know this is hard for you. I never really had a father figure so I know I can't relate with you but I want to. You just have to talk to me. Okay? Promise?"

"Promise," Seonghwa sighed with a smile and Hongjoong smiled back, nodding his head, causing a long strand of hair to fall into his eyes.

Seonghwa brushed it behind his ear, gently and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I don't deserve you."

He was startled as a light smack connected with his shoulder and he pulled away to see Hongjoong pouting.

"Don't you dare say that again!"

"Wha—"

"I will not tolerate self-deprication in this relationship!"

Seonghwa smiled and took Hongjoong's hand from his arm, rubbing his finger over the dainty knuckles.

"I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, you're the most incredible human being I've ever met and I thank the moons and stars that I get to be the human being you fell for."

Seonghwa smirked a bit, seeing a blush creep along Hongjoong's cheeks.

"Was that better?"

Hongjoong didn't answer and instead, reached a hand up to Seonghwa's arching neck, meeting his lips with his own.

After a moment, he finally pulled away and shook his head, lying back on the pillows behind him.

"Aish—Park Seonghwa, you're going to be the death of me."