PHOBOPHOBIA

Mind Trickery

Trigger Warning

Manipulation

Sexual Assault

Death by drowning

Mentions of suicide

(Most of the story will be Hazel’s POV now, but I will tell you if it changes)

I really don’t know what to do now, I literally just caused the death of three people. Where do I go? Where am I supposed to be? Who am I really? I need the answer to all of these questions, but no matter how much I ask God, he won't answer. I’m honestly giving up on praying. It’s not like he’ll bring those people back to me anyway, but I still have a trickle of hope for some reason. 

Speaking of trickle, it started to rain, just my luck. Maybe I should just leave, it’s all my fault anyway, all of it, my fault.

My fault 

My fault

My fault

My-

“Hello?”

“Huh?”

“Are- are you  lost? We could help you.”

Two women came up to me, both holding umbrellas and wearing different colored raincoats. They looked worried as they stared me down- but I would just be a bother to them. “I’m not lost, I’m just enjoying the rain.” The smaller one, who had dirty-blonde hair that looked very unnatural, began to look more worried. “Are you sure? You looked banged up,” She said looking at my knees. Oh yeah, I fell while running over here, I always fall at the same spot every time I come to the lake. “Oh that, I just fell on the way over here, like always, but I promise, I’m fine.” A promise. I have never broken a promise so quickly.

“At least let me give you an umbrella before we leave, I don’t want you to get sick.” The taller one said. “Why do you care about me so much, I’m fine.” Well that just slipped out, why did I say that? “You might get hurt. I’m sorry if we’re scaring you, but knowing that something happened to you, hurts,” the smaller one said. I just couldn’t help it. I bursted into tears, just like that. The girls tried to help me calm down but I just kept pushing them away. They might get hurt like the other ones did.

I couldn’t feel anything, it’s like my whole body went numb. I felt so weak and helpless, like I couldn’t kill a fly. I was soft and heartbroken, I needed somebody. Anybody. My eyes began to grow weak as I passed out in one of their arms, I felt like shattering, dying and praying I would be born into a better life. Alas, I didn’t die, instead I woke up in a small bedroom with a towel on my head. Seems like I did catch a cold, but that didn’t matter. I was in someone’s house and that person is in potential danger because of me.

I could smell something coming from what I assume is the kitchen. I don’t think it’s my schizophrenia because usually I would smell burning, sulphurous smells, or gas but what I smelt was nice and home-like:

“Pancakes.”

“Oh- good morning!” The girls I met earlier were making breakfast together in the small kitchen, the kitchen was quite small so I assume that this was an apartment. They were both wearing aprons covered in flour and other powdery substances- it made them look like moms that just had a big food war. “Good morning? Why am I here?” What kind of fucking question is that? “Oh- well, you kinda passed out and we didn’t want to leave you laying there so we brought you back to our place.” The taller one said. I didn’t want to get them involved and now I have them more involved than before, how lovely.