An Unlikely duo (AF/PJO/HP Crossover)

Artemis DOESN'T like lollipops.

WARNING: VERY OOC CHARACTERS UP AHEAD!

Everyone froze, like a freezeframe in one of those comedy movies that Butler was so fond of.

Harry froze mid-jig, Nico stopped fiddling with his ring, which was also apparently a sword, and Hermione, well, she still hadn't moved from her spot under the sink.

A very angry Professor McGonagall stormed into the bathroom, followed by an impassive Professor Snape and a horrified Professor Flitwick.

"What were you thinking? Taking on a full-grown mountain troll! You could have died!"

Artemis heard Nico mutter something under his breath.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"And you! Why are you Slytherins here? I would have thought that at least you Fowl, would have the common sense to go to your common room!"

Artemis knew that he probably shouldn't talk back if he valued his life, but he simply couldn't help it!

"On the contrary Professor, going to the common room would have been suicidal. As you probably recall, the troll was first sighted in the dungeons, which is where the Slytherin Common Room is located. I assume that this tiny detail slipped your mind, correct?" he heaved a dramatic sigh, "If we hadn't remembered in time, half the Slytherins in the school would be dead. You really should be thanking us."

Professor McGonagall's face had turned deathly pale. Behind her, Professor Snape looked like he was trying to stifle a smile, although the only indication of this was an occasional twitch of his lips.

"You- you -what? Where are the rest of the Slytherins?" she asked, momentarily distracted.

"Oh them? They're probably still in the great hall, finishing their meals."

Nico, who had remained silent during the exchange perked up at that, "Really? Well, I suppose I might as well join them. I'm super hungry and all, anyway, bye! Hey!" Artemis grabbed the back of Nico's robes and hissed, "You are not getting out of this mess so easily di Angelo! If I can't try one of those infernal lollipops, then you can't have any pizza!"

Nico of course, hissed back, "Lollipops? The great Artemis Fowl wants a lollipop?"

"I want to study them to see if magic can enhance their taste."

"No, you just have a sugar craving."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"I DON'T LIKE LOLLIPOPS!" Artemis yelled.

Professor McGonagall, who had moved on to interrogating the others looked at him confused.

"Excuse me? Mr. Fowl, would you care to explain how sugary confections are related to trolls and house points?"

"I'd rather not."

McGonagall rolled her eyes but continued to scold the Gryffindors. However, Nico and Artemis were in even more trouble now, because they had earned themselves the undivided attention of Severus Snape.

Oh phooey.

***********Line break**********

Severus Snape massaged his forehead. He didn't usually have to deal with students committing dangerously noble acts, that honor was usually reserved for Gryffindors, or even the occasional Hufflepuff. He looked at the two boys in front of him, who were completely ignoring his foreboding presence and were arguing about whether cheeseburgers were better than caviar.