N (WAYHAUGHT)

Chapter 31 - Pollo Bambino

They rode into the field to cheers. N and Waverly had been missed, such was the deep bond between fellow circus folk. It was a bittersweet moment, knowing their lives were heading in a different direction to that of their adopted family.

Dolls was busy clipping a new peg puller round the ear. Nicole smiled, remembering the times she had been subjected to his way of getting her to pay attention. Playful, to a degree, what might appear harsh to those outside their community, to her it had been endearing. She had encountered worse. She knew he cared for her in his own way, not like that bastard at the orphanage. Dolls waited for them to approach, shaking Nicole's hand, kissing Waverly on the cheek.

Nicole removed her cap, hoping his answer would be yes. "I be wanting to pull the pegs. It be me last time."

"I see. Where am I going to get a decent peg puller like you N?"

"Be thinking the same. Ain't no one pulling pegs like me."

"True. Very true. So, you are decided on leaving?"

The words stabbed Nicole in the heart. In no way was she decided. Not in the slightest. If she could have stayed with Waverly and the baby she would have. Yet, a new life, a new destiny awaited, one she needed to explore, comforting herself with the belief they could always return to the circus should things not work out at Howton Hall.

She knew what she was giving up by leaving. It had been heaven on earth compared to the life she had before. The orphanage. Those in charge expected her to pay her way, not be a burden on society. That was the world she had existed in. That was the world she had come to accept. No mercy, no justice, no nothing. You work for your keep as one of the wretched, abandoned souls of society. To Svane she was a non-person, of little value other than to make money for him by scrubbing the dirt out of others' lives. Day in, day out. He cared not she was unable to read, or write, or count. That was of no concern. All he cared about was her dressing in the grey rags that passed for a uniform, doing the work she was set, not answering back.

Entering the circus she had stepped into a magical world, a relatively safe world, far safer than the one she ran away from. A world where it also mattered little whether she could read, or not, or write, or count. Unlike the orphanage, there were those on hand to help her. Aunty, Rosita, Doc even. Finally Waverly. All they desired of her was she be N, their N. If she chose to wear men's clothing, so be it. If she chose to sleep with a horse, so be it.

Dolls invited them to his wagon. A farewell drink was in order, Wynonna bringing the bottle of whiskey she had acquired from Nicole's house. They sat and talked about the future, Dolls happy for Wynonna to continue solo, as long as she was able and the act continued to bring in the crowds. Waverly had insisted she might return once things settled down, Nicole and Wynonna looking at each other, knowing better than to try to dissuade her.

Wynonna mentioned Daisy might be in need of work. Dolls nodded, remembering N's pretty friend from her visit to their world, always happy to consider someone interested if they were prepared to work hard. He was in need of someone to take over aunty's work, Nicole offering to ride to town to discuss the possibility with her, dependent on her current arrangements.

Wynonna needed to get ready for the matinee performance. Waverly was in two minds whether to go with Nicole to find Daisy, or stay and help Wynonna. She decided, after much deliberation, she wanted to stay with Wynonna, Nicole heading off in search of her friend.

Wynonna got into her costume, sensing Waverly wanted to do the same. "You won't fit anymore. They weren't designed with a baby pouch."

"I don't think I could mount a horse at the moment. I can't even run fast anymore, my energy's gone."