Empty

●Chapter Seven●

The next morning after all the third years were up and ready to go, Coach came and said he wanted to talk to me. So, I walked out the room and into the hall. 

"Listen, kid. I assume Daichi already talked to you?" 

"We talked about a few things last night, which are you referring to?" We talked about me gagging myself, why I wanna die, self harm, more things surrounding that. I can guess which he means though based on yesterday's events. 

"I've been around the block a few times. I noticed the bruise on your hand and immediately knew. If this keeps up, I can't keep putting you in games."

"I know. I'm working on it. Kind of." I looked down. I was working on something, but being safe was not it. I was working on finding another way to try and hurt myself. 

"Good, I know what it's like. I...I used it as a method of self harm too in high school. Come and talk if you need to, completely confidential." 

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Coach." I gave a small fake smile, as did he. I walked back in the room to see that Daichi and Asahi had heard everything. 

"Did...Did Asahi know?" 

"Dude, the whole team figured it out. After you passed out, most of the team came and surrounded and heard everything." 

"God, no one's gonna look at me the same…" I said, slightly panicked. 

"Nah dude, don't worry. Everyone was talked to, you don't need to worry about a thing." Daichi reassured me. 

"Listen, Noya and Tanaka are gonna be weird. Well, weirder than usual."

"I don't think you'll need to worry about it." Asahi said. 

"What did you do?" I gave a small laugh. 

"Well, let's just say I'm holding something above Noya's head. And I got dirt on Tanaka."

"What kind of thing are you holding above Noya's head?" I was curious. 

"Well...I doubt either of you will care so I'll just come out with it, I'm gay."

"Okay, that was obvious, out with it." 

"I...So, me and Noya are a thing, and are sexually active and...I…"

"So you're telling him if he acts any different around me he ain't gonna get anything."  I gave a smirk. Asahi blushed and looked down. I just wanna know who tops, bc either way, like damn, the size difference these two must be. 

"Alright, stop teasing, let's get the rest of the team and head to breakfast."  Daichi said. We gathered up the underclassmen, who mostly looked half asleep, and headed out. 

At breakfast, I just ate some fruit, hoping it wouldn't even be enough to throw up if I tried. 

Instead of listening in on normal conversation, I was thinking of other ways I could hurt myself, hopefully ones that aren't too noticeable. I could try cutting in a different area? But Daichi and I usually shower at the same time so he'll see them. Pick open the cuts I already have? Maybe. Honestly, what if I just...Sliced my wrists open, like a normal ass person? Yeah, I play volleyball, so it's not smart but...even just using my nails? It'd get noticed, but in a pinch, it's something until I can think of something else. 

At the courts, we look at the boards to see who's playing who. We got matched against Shinzen to start today. We started with our normal lineup, me sitting on the bench. 

Try it, see how it works out.

When no one was looking, I scratched at my arm. My nails weren't long or Sharp enough to leave a mark, at least not when I'm not in a breakdown. But, for now, it was enough to distract me, enough to pull my head from the clouds and focus on the game.