Lover

Chapter 30. Forgive and Forget

Joe's POV:

I thought she didn't care about me anymore. I thought she yell at me to leave as soon as she saw me in the greenhouse.

But she didn't.

But she doesn't trust me either...

The look on her face said it all when I asked her the question. She didn't try to explain or defend. And she shouldn't have to. I know I have crossed the line of forgiveness. Of ever being together again. I just wished it was easy to move on too. But it was taking everything I had to even think about moving forward. She has become my lifeline. Losing her was equal to dying.

But I also didn't want to force her to forgive me too...

I stood under the shower and thought about everything. She was nice enough to let me stay. I shouldn't push her limits and get in her way. I promised to lay low and leave as soon as Christmas was over.

After rinsing the soap off, I turned off the shower and went into the guest bedroom after wrapping a towel around my waist. Fresh set of clothes were lying on the bed for me. Taylor must've put them there. She didn't want to face me so she was doing everything she could so I wouldn't get in her way.

I grabbed the t-shirt and shorts putting them on. Then I laid on the bed wrapping my arm around Benji. At least he was here with me.

Sleep somehow started to come to me after I put my head against the pillow. Maybe because of the fact that I had spent the last days lying on the cold rock-hard ground. It felt nice to be back in my home with Taylor. The home we bought together... But it wasn't mine anymore... She didn't feel safe with me and it hurt me beyond repair...

Her words ringed in my head as my mind half drifted off to sleep. The dialogues kept repeating over and over inside my head in her anguished voice.

I trusted you!!! I never fucking trust anyone but I fucking trusted you!!!

Who were you trying to save me from?! Because it seemed like I needed to be saved from you!!!"

they were what?! Going to hurt me? Give me scars for life? Well you did their work for them..."

I need your spare key to this house. I won't feel safe knowing you can come inside the house whenever you want. I want the key back...

Tears slipped from my eyes and into the pillow. I squeezed them shut and prayed that sleep came to me instantly because I couldn't bear the pain any longer...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taylor's POV:

It was 3:30 A.M...

And I was unable to sleep. Joe was in the guest bedroom. He didn't come out to talk after he went to take a shower. I guess he fell asleep. I was lying here staring at the ceiling on Christmas Eve with a aching heart.

I stopped scrolling through my phone after two hours. It was no use. The main headline was things related to my Miss Americana documentary and how I couldn't use my previous music anymore. Everything was as bad as it could get.

I turned to my side and saw Olivia sleeping on her back on Joe's side of the bed. Great... Just when I wa-

"No! No please!" An anguished cry came from the other room.

Joe...

I sprinted towards the other end of the house as the muffled cries got louder. I couldn't understand the words, but I was sure it was something horrible.

Running into the room I saw Joe lying on the bed hyperventilating with his eyes closed. He was having a nightmare...

I turned on the lamp light and went to his side "Joe! Hey hey...Joe?" I went up to him and started to shake his shoulder. "Babe it's alright... Joe hey!" He wasn't opening his eyes. He seemed to be in a deep sleep.

"No! ... I- I can't ooze you..." His words came out in a grunt. I figured he meant 'lose' instead of ooze.

"Baby I'm here..." I stroked his hair back and cupped his cheek, shaking it lightly to wake him up. Tears were sleeping from the corners of his eyes.

I knew I shouldn't call him 'babe' and 'baby' now that we weren't together anymore but I said it out of instinct because I was so habitual of calling him that.

He stopped hyperventilating when he felt my hands across his cheek. "Taylor?" He said with his eyes still closed. He must have converted my words into his dream because he still haven't woken up yet.

"I'm here... Joe wake up!" I shook him again and he finally opened his eyes. He seemed confused for a second. "It was just a nightmare..." I said stroking his disheveled hair back. He blinked and I saw fresh set of tears filling his eyes.

He reached forward and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder. I felt his whole body shake as he cried against me. I wrapped my arm around his back and twisted my fingers in the back of his head, holding him to me.

"You're my everything Taylor..." He murmured sobbing. "I was always afraid of losing you. And I did..."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that we would be okay again but I didn't want to predict something that might not happen. He was already broken up, I couldn't push him anymore.

So I just held him. Until he slowly stopped shaking and his body become heavy on top of me. I placed my back against the pillows with him nestled against my chest like a baby. I looked down and saw his red nose and puffy eyes. He looked so weak that it almost tore my heart in half.

He loved me...

I loved him...

We couldn't be together...

But we were not willing to give up either...

*************

Hello Lovers!!!

Let me know what you think is going to happen next in the story! Are you waiting for any more surprises? Or are you guys ready to forgive Joe yet? Comment before and let me know!

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The book with the most votes usual wins so please please please vote and share this book with your fellow Swifties!

If I win the Wattys Award which I only have a 1% chance of winning cause there are so many incredible books out there, it would be all because of you guys...

Thank you so much for everything!!!

Love, Nora ♥️