Sound Your Name (Oh, My Darling)

7. Something to Ponder On

Aleksander gave her a discerning look, but his lips were still angled upwards in mirth. 

“We would have to take a quicker pace than your old unit would have moved.” 

“I can do it.” 

~~~

Several hours of riding and Alina thought, ‘I can’t do it, but I have to.’ 

The adrenaline from the Fold events, then meeting her soulmate and taking care of her family had all worn off and now she realized her whole body ached. She was exhausted. 

“You can rest against me, Alina.” 

Then there was Aleksander who insisted it was safer for her to ride with him, despite the fact that in the long run it would be the most uncomfortable for the both of them. 

“Alina.” 

He got closer, his mouth brushing against the shell of her ear and she sucked in a breath.The back of her neck getting tickled by the bristle of his beard, she could barely suppress the shiver that went down her spine. The pull of their bond got stronger, begging for her to let him touch her more or at least get closer. 

“I could help you relax, if you like.” 

Alina swallowed thickly as she felt him sit back slightly. 

“How?” 

“My amplifier quality can detect a person’s Grisha power but it often reassures them.” 

Alina bit her lip to stop herself from asking the question at the tip of her tongue but he seemed to sense she had one even without their bond having strengthened to that point yet. 

“You have a question Alina?” 

She turned her head slightly so that she could connect her left eye with his briefly, “I worry I’ll phrase my question incorrectly and it could offend.” 

His arms tightened around her middle, but still didn’t pull her back against his chest allowing her to make that decision. 

“Is that ability to protect an amplifier? I suppose what I mean is if someone were not to ask for consent like you did for me…” Alina sighed through her nose and ran her fingers through the horse’s mane in front of her. 

He didn’t answer straight away and when he did he let out a breath that sounded like it was long overdue. 

“I must confess I may have overused this part of my ability more than I should have in the past. Not necessarily for nefarious purposes, however still like you implied as a shortcut to...control a situation.” 

Alina thought about it and she wasn’t surprised considering what she already knew about him. In fact several memories that she’d had in the past that hadn’t made that much sense had pieces click into place now. She knew also that realistically she couldn’t ask her soulmate to never use that ability again or never to use it to ‘control’ a situation once more. She knew he would just not tell her and then do it anyway, most likely under some male justification of ‘knowing better’. 

“I think I can understand how you could have been placed in such situations.” 

She heard him suck in a breath as if he hadn’t been expecting her to take his confession well. However, she already suspected that he wasn’t sure how much she actually knew about him. They hadn’t had a truly private moment, in a secure location to talk about such things yet. So she hadn’t.