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●Chapter Two●

When I walked back out, people were starting to leave. 

"Sorry it took so long." I apologized. 

"Your eyes are bloodshot, are you okay? Were you crying?" Noya asked. Fuck. 

"Oh? I'm not sure why they're bloodshot. Probably just because I'm tired." Another lie.

"Alright. I'll head back with you so we can get some sleep, night guys." Daichi turned towards Asahi and Noya. They waved as we walked in the opposite direction.

"So, what did you think? Do you and Tsukishima match up?" Daichi asked. 

"I don't know, I wanna use his height to our advantage, but he won't jump high enough."

"Talk to him. Maybe a night you're not so tired you guys can practice." 

"I don't think he's as into it as we are, he'll want to do the bare minimum." 

Keep talking like that and you'll never get play time again. 

"I'll talk to him." Daichi said. 

"Thanks…" I replied just above a whisper. 

When we walked in, I sat my bag down next to the wall. I grabbed stuff to get a shower, along with bandages that I'd hidden between my clothes. 

"I'll be back." I said. 

"I'll probably be getting a shower too here in a minute." He shrugged. I walked over to the bathroom to find our shower space was completely communal. No curtains. Fuck, guess i better hurry the fuck up. Or maybe he won't notice? I mean, what straight male looks below the waist of another dude?

Fag

I sighed as I undressed to get my shower. As I was getting ready to turn the water on, Daichi came in. I had my back towards him but, moment of truth I guess. When I turned around he was staring at me. 

He noticed. 

"Suga...Your thighs...are...are you okay?" He asked after a few moments. 

"Oh, yeah...I'm okay."

"Don't lie to me, those look like you did them yourself." I could hear pain in his voice. 

"Honestly, Daichi, I'm okay."

Liar

"You can talk to me, you know that, right?" 

"I know. I just...I don't wanna involve you in any of it." I didn't want to guilt trip him into anything.

"How old are they? Be honest With me." 

"Not that old…" 

"You didn't have allergies, did you?" He figured that out quickly, though I'm sure my stuttering on the phone helped give me away. 

"No…" I started to cry. I didn't want to, It was more involuntary. 

"Hey, get finished with your shower and then we'll head back and talk, okay." He offered. I just nodded. I hurried with my shower and headed back before him. 

Once I was dressed, I rummaged through my bag for my knife. I didn't plan on taking it out of my bag at all...But I also don't want him to find it and confiscate it. 

When he came in, I had the knife in plain sight in my hand. Way to, Suga. 

Psycho

"Suga, put the knife down. Please?" He asked. I did as he asked. I put it back in my bag. 

"Can we just...let it go for tonight…" I had tears rolling down my face. 

"No, Suga. We need to talk about it. I need to know what I can do to help you. It hurts seeing you like this. I…" he looked down and acted shy. Is he blushing???

He doesn't care, it's all pity.

"I'm fine, really." I threw on a fake smile and wiped my tears, but they were replaced with more. 

"What goes through your head?" He asked as he sat down beside me. He started to look at my cuts to try and figure out how bad they were. They were slightly bloody from playing all day, plus the flying leaps we did. I decided to open up a little bit. I wouldn't tell him everything, but enough to get him off my back tonight. 

"I feel worthless, like I don't deserve to be here, like I'm annoying, Replaceable, not...not good enough." I broke down sobbing. I believed that one the most; that I'm not good enough. Daichi pulled me in for a hug to comfort me. 

"You are good enough, Suga. You always will be. You're not worthless, on or off the court. You deserve to be here. And you're not annoying, to me anyways. And I promise you, you are not and will never be Replaceable."

"I'll never be good enough. I try and I try, but nothing I do will ever be good enough." I cried into his shoulder.

"Keep trying, please. For me."

"I...I don't want to try anymore. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of feeling worthless, of near nightly breakdowns, I can't do it anymore." I screamed, but not loud enough that anyone else could hear me. Not like they'd care if they did. 

"This happens almost nightly? Suga, you could've called me. I would've been there." He held on tighter. 

"Don't, don't give me that bullshit line. You don't care."

"I do care, you're my best friend. I'd be lost without you." 

He's lying

For a while, I just sat there and cried as he held me. I could feel pain shooting through my body, which in turn made me breath faster so I wouldn't scream from it. 

"Hey hey, slow your breathing, it'll be okay." He rubbed my back and slowed his breathing, hoping I'd try and match it. I didn't. I just let myself keep breathing heavily, feeling my face and hands tingle and my vision go dark from the lack of air I was getting. 

All I remember before passing out was Daichi trying to keep me awake and alert.

Word Count; 2767