Shattered~Lashton

Twenty-Eight.

-Luke- 

Sitting in a room full of people but somehow I still managed to feel alone. People kept looking back at me. Or maybe they were looking at Ashton, or maybe both of us. It didn't really matter, I was sitting there looking around. Ashton working on the paper everyone else should be working on, apparently I was more interesting. None of my major 'bullies' were in here but I felt like something was going to happen. 

A piece of paper hit my left side. People were watching me, others were not. I slowly picked up the note, knowing that something horrible would be scribbled on the inside. 

You are a freak, you know that? Maybe you should kill yourself, no one would miss you. Not even your boyfriend, fag. Maybe slit your wrists some more? We all know that is why you have your arms wrapped. FREAK. 

I closed the note, put it in my pocket. I stood up, I tried to run out of the class. Getting tripped in the process I could hear people laughing around me. I quickly got to my feet and ran out. I saw the doors at the end of the hall and ran. I pushed the doors open and ran. 

I just want to know what I did to these people. I haven't done anything to them, I haven't insulted anyone, hurt anyone. I knew they were right, I knew no one would miss me if I did die. I was sure Ashton would be happier. Since he always had to worry about me. I had stopped running now and but my back against a tree. My vision was blurry from crying and I furiously wiped my tears away. I was sick of being treated like shit.

Do these people not see what they have done to me? Do they not see that I want to fucking die, not for them but for me. I want to escape this hell. Escape this world, leave it all behind. Maybe everyone would be happy, I would finally be happy. My brother wouldn't have to worry about me anymore, Ashton could focus on him and not me. 

I just wanted to leave, and that is what I planned on doing. 

-Ashton- 

When I had looked up from my paper I saw Luke getting tripped and running out of the room. What the fuck just happened? I cursed at myself for being so zoned out. People were laughing and the sub just sat there looking at the door, not bothering leaving the room to even check on him. I stood up and instantly got shot down. 

"Everyone calm down! Sir please sit down!" The sub yelled above us, the room went quite. 

I clenched my fists, "You don't understand, that's my boyfriend and I need to go check on him." I fought back.

"No one is leaving this room till the bell rings, now sit down or ill call the principal." Everyone was looking at me and I didn't want to get in trouble with the principal. I sat back down and hoped to god that Luke wouldn't try anything. 

-Luke- 

I sat down underneath the tree. I was still crying, I tried to calm down but I couldn't. I could see the school from here, I didn't run that far. God I hate running but I sure do it a lot. 

I looked down at my wrists, I wanted to die. I wanted to cut, I needed to cut. I just sat there though. Not moving, I tried to think of happy things. Things that make me happy, just like the therapist said. The only thing that came to mind was Ashton. 

I closed my eyes, not even caring how weird I looked. Ashton made me happy. Ashton made me feel complete. The way his eyes light up when he's happy, his smile could cure cancer. Ashton was beautiful. His hair was the prettiest shade of brown/blonde. His voice, I could listen to him talk for hours. His laugh, god his laugh was the most magical sound ever. His hugs were nice, Ashton gave the best hugs. It was like holding my entire world, he was my world. Fuck I know this all sounds girly but its the truth. He's my rock. The reason why I keep going, although I did make myself a promise. I would have broken that by now if it wasn't for him. 

I felt someone grab a holdof my hands and I opened my eyes. Only to meet his. He was kneeling in front of me, on the edge of crying. I can't believe I did this to him. He was almost crying because of me. He ran his hand in my hair. 

"God Luke, I was so worried that you were going to try something." He sat down in front of me and kept a hold my hand. 

I looked down at our hands. His hands were slightly larger. I squeezed his hand, avoiding his eyes. 

"Your the reason." I whispered. 

"For what?" He asked, obviously confused. 

I let out a forced laugh. "Your the reason why I won't do anything, you have nothing to worry about as long as we are together. As long as I have you, i'll be okay." 

He moved my head so I was forced to look him in the eyes. "Ash, I know I'm fucked up. I run away, I run away from everything. But ill never run away from you, I really do want to die Ash but-" I took a deep breath. "-I am trying to get better. Damn its so hard, all I want to do is give up. I hear these voices inside my head. They keep telling me horrible things. But then I think of you, when I'm with you they never come. I'm going to keep trying Ash, I'll try not to give up. No matter how hard it gets." 

He was silent for awhile. Maybe I had said to much and now he was freaking out. Freaking out that he had a suicidal boyfriend. I was waiting for him to break up with me now, it was only a few minutes but felt like hours. 

"All you can do is try baby, and ill be with you forever. I won't ever leave you, unless you leave me." 

I looked at him, "Forever?"

He looked down and then back at me, "Forever." He promised me, kissing me gently, taking me away from reality for a few seconds.