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I booked a flight back to the Philippines when I received an email from my Demiel. It was an invitation for his wedding this coming Saturday.

Ang bilis ng panahon. I should really separate reality from books. Sa mga nabasa ko noon ay nagbabalikan ang mga main characters after five years, pero sa totoong buhay ay madalang lamang ang gano'n.

I am happy for him and finally I could say that he already moved on from me. But, I won't deny the fact that my heart ached when I received that news. He'll marry the woman he told me not to worry about.

I couldn't help but to laugh at myself. Parang ako namagitan sa kanila na para bang dapat ay noon pa ito nangyari, kaya lang ay naroon ako kaya hindi nagawa ni Demiel na mahalin siya. That time I saw him with her, was the night I confessed to him. Iyon din ang araw na naging kami. What if  hindi ko ginawa iyon? Siguro ay noon pa siya niligawan ni Demiel. Sana ay hindi na tumagal pa ng ganito. Hindi na rin sana nagkasakitan pa.

I inhaled and sighed all my thoughts. It happened and it should just stay in the past. I would love to cherish our memories but I really have to let go all of those. Hindi iyon makabubuti sa akin at ayaw ko na ring isipin ang mga pinagdaanan namin. Ayaw ko nang saktan pa ang sarili ko.

The university invited me to be one of their guess speaker. It talks about mental health and possible negative effect of social media. They knew what happened to me years so ago, so they immediately contacted me when they received the news that I'll come back to the Philippines. It was really a big opportunity for me.

Hindi ako natutuwa sa lugar na iyon dahil mapanghusga ang mga tao roon pero mag-iisang dekada na ang lumipas, siguro naman ay nagbago at natuto na ang lahat.

"Let's us call our guess speaker."

Tumayo ako at ngumiti habang nakatingin lamang sa harapan.

"That successful woman right there is no other than Miss Kicy Jynette Suarez. She had finished and obtain her degree in DHVSU; BS Engineering. She's one of the most famous engineers in United States of America," the host smiled at the crowd. "Let's give her a round of applause." And they did clap their hands as I got up the stage.

I held the microphone and smiled at the students before I begun to talk. I started with a greetings. Of course, I congratulated them for making it this far. It's mental health awareness month and I know students infront of me are dealing with specific things I don't know about. I have discussed specific phenomenon that can affect someone's mental health. I focused on the healing process. Alam kong marami sa kanila ang hindi pa rin nakakalaya mula sa kanilang mga nakaraan. I felt that too, that was years ago and now I completely understand them. I want to help them even just through words, hoping that they'll find comfort within those.

I pointed at the box infront. I know students won't ask directly. Alam kong mahihiya ang karamihan, so I suggested to the school to just make a box of confession where I could read their stories, answer some questions and so they could vent out their emotions on that paper.

The host put the box in the mini table that's placed infront of me. They were given a chance to ask and write anonymously, or they can use username, codes or whatever it is that they're comfortable having with.

Bumunot ako ng isang papel mula roon. Lukot ang papel, looks like it was rumpled. Hindi iyon nahapakan o natapon dahil malinis na malinis ang papel. I flipped the paper, looking for a text but I found nothing. Tanging bakat ng mga folds lamang ang nakikita ko roon.

I faked cough and held the microphone once again.

"I know there's a purpose why someone put this paper here like this."

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