Chapter 5 | Taylors world

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Taylor's pov:

After the mall. we went back to Roberts house and straight away Austin interwinds our fingers and pulls me upstairs to the spare room.
Maybe I was thinking too deeply about the situation of thinking it was love.
Because if he's taking me upstairs for one thing...then it clearly he can't be the right one.
In his eyes I'm just a girl that lays down on the bed and opens her legs without hesitation.

As soon as he twisted the doorknob and I enter the room , he pins me to the wall.
"Seriously! what's your problem why are you trying to embarrassing me in front of my friends!"Austin growls in my face.
"I didn't even do anything..."

"i swear I didn't try to embarrass you in front of your friends on purpose" at this point I was so confused and scared by his sudden action that I didn't know what to do.

He tightens he's grip on my arm
"Yeah you did this was your plan all along... to make me look stupid while you speak to me like crap!"he growls

"I didn't do anything I swear-"
I was cut off by a warm sting on my left cheek
He just slapped me
I don't know what I did.
But I pissed him off for sure.
He's never laid a finger on me that would make me scared to be around him.
Maybe this is the scenario to make me wake up and realise my instincts were right and that there was definitely something off about him.
i held my cheek as silent tear drops roll down one by one down my cheek

"Don't answer me back!"he spat through he's gritted teeth
He pushed me down the floor and kicked me in my ribs before grabbing my neck and whispering a toxic hiss.
"Get up"
"I said get up..you worthless whore" he says as he kicked me down onto my knees and punched me.
He continues to do this until everything goes black my eyes soon start to flutter close
All I could hear was the pounding beat of my heart

~

"Taylor ...Taylor wake up" someone says as they gently shake me
"what" I mumble rubbing my eyes
"Babe, are you ok?... were you having a nightmare? Your sweating" he says ever so sweetly.

"I-I guess i must of been" I said adjusting my eyes to the dim sunlight lightly flickering through the car windows as we drive back to Austin's house

"It's ok now"He whispers in my ear as he pulls me closer to him and wraps he's arms around my shoulders protectively I just look up and smile at him.

~you've got to get away from him~
My ears popped as a voice pierced through my eardrums.

~

"So are you going to tell me what your nightmare was about " Austin says out of breathe as I lay on he's bare chest sweaty and half naked

"Before I do ...don't get mad at me but this has been on my mind for a while "I gulped down the bile that was rising to my throat, i looked up to Austin while I bite my lip nervously
He nods for me to continue
"Do you actually like me or are you using me for your pleasure" I blurted out closing both eyes
I slowly open one eyes when the bed dips down a bit to see Austin quickly get up.

"Why would you say that!" Austin growled

"We'll I said don't get mad at me " I rolled my eyes.

"Get your clothes on and go" He said through gritting teeth
Just, then the flashback of him gritting he's teeth in my nightmare came back to me.
My breathing hitched as I saw him pace up and down.
His chest heaves up and down in slow motions, the way it always does when he's trying to calm himself down, and his knuckles are white from clenching so hard at the sides of his body.
I was about to say something but he gave me a glare, making me feel like I had something awful. He said he wouldn't get mad.
He made me feel like it was my fault for wondering if he was just using me.
The way he would act hot and cold towards me.
Any human would wonder that question too.
I did what he said and went down stairs with him on my trail. It was silent.
It was empty because everyone decided to go to Alex house and watch a movie
"Don't call me"he said then slammed the front door in my face
I rubbed my face in frustration then started to walk to my best friend Colby's house which was a 10 block walk.
It was clear now.
He was just using me.
If you love someone you'll never let them go.
Sure you argue, but you argue because you've got something to fight for... if you stopped then there would be nothing to fight for anymore.
He never loved me. I guess I knew it. I just never wanted to admit it to myself.
Right now popularity was all I've got.
I could of been the nice popular girl. The one everyone genuinely liked.
But I chose the wrong way. I'm popular because everyone secretly hates me.
I guess it's not a secret if I know it.
They want to date me because they despise me so much they want to be seen with me to make themselves look good.
They hang out with me so they can try a stand in the light with me while everyone else wallows in the shadows.
The sky is grey today, I mean everything is some form of grey, it always has been on days like this.
As I started to walk it starts to pour down with rain.
Huh. How typical.

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