Soonhoon

Chapter 5

"Thank you." Lee Jihoon passed me the file back.
"You're welcome." I gave him a sweet smile.
Instead he just nodded and started packing his things. I put my file back in silently.
I was right. There wasn't any hope in us. He would totally hate me. I was hyper and he was quite, I liked people, he didn't. I was annoying and he was intolerable. He ranked in the top five and I barely made it in the first fifty. Who was I even? So this was it. The end to my first love. I would probably never meet or talk to him ever-
"I'll buy you something. What do you want?" My breath hitched. Did he just ask me out? No he was just thankful. Was he trying to kill my poor heart? I liked and hated how he could just pass by and it'll be a big part of my life.
"What?" I asked unsure if it was just me or for Seungkwan.
"I owe you one for this." Was he trying to pay me to get me off his way?
"You don't need to do tha-
"Should we go to the milkshake place then?" Doekyom interrupted.
"What are you so excited for? "Jihoon asked him in a bored voice. Doekyom just grinned shamelessly. Jihoon sighed shaking his head but I saw a faint smile on his face that disappeared too quickly when he looked at me.
"Seungkwan, Vernon." He turned away from me as if I meant nothing. "Join us." He said.
"Drinks on you?" Hanson Sunbae smirked.
Jihoon glared at him but sighed shaking his head. "Sure then."
"You're alright with it right?" Jihoon finally asked me.
"Of course as long as the bill's on you." Doekyom answered for me. I wanted to refuse but I couldn't. How do I tell him?
"Hoshi's lactose intolerant." I was surprised when Seungkwan said it for me. "Maybe we should just go somewhere else."
My heart clenched a little hearing him say that. He remembered that.
"Is that so?" Jihoon's voice sounded disappointed. Did he want to go to that place that much?
And before I knew it I blurted, "They sell Orange juice too. I'll have that one."
He nodded as we made way outside. Doekyom was the most talkative as he walked between me and Jihoon. Seungkwan and Vernon following us.
I again felt that envy when I heard them talking happily. They were a couple and they were happy with each other despite losing so many things. I wondered who was the one who took the courage to confess in them? Jihoon seemed pretty laid back about things like this. He didn't mind it before too and even now doesn't seem to mind them. Would he be not weirded out if I confessed? And then what? He wouldn't accept me anyway either.
"Strawberry." Everyone said at once. Jihoon nodded without a word handing his bag to Doekyom and walked away to order. We sat at a table in the corner. It was a circular table. I sat between Seungkwan and Doekyom somehow and it got even more awkward when one if our hands touched.
"It's late." Doekyom said breaking the silence.
"Yeah. It's eight already." Seungkwan replied. His hands were intertwined with Hansol Sunbae's as they rested it on the table,as if it was normal.
"Here." I averted my eyes to Jihoon who gave me my orange drink. It was nice. I wouldn't have known even if it were bad because Jihoon gave it to me.
"Thanks." I said with a wide smile that was out of my control.
He was flustered at my active response which he returned with a small slight smile and a nod. And my smile widened even more.
I didn't talk much after that. My eyes were on Jihoon and how cutely he drank his drink. He was in a conversation with Doekyom and Seungkwan. Only me and Sunbae were silent throughout.
His eyes followed whatever Seungkwan said, making even his dumbest statement look important. I never knew I could hold so much envy in me. Seeing them together made me jealous but I didn't want to break them apart in anyway. Because Seungkwan was happy.
I followed them outside quietly. Doekyom was doing a good job in not letting the conversation die.
Doekyom and Seungkwan were quite different but at the same time they were quite similar. Seungkwan was observant whole Doekyom was a bit oblivious. But both of them were naive and pure hearted. More than any normal person could've been. Maybe that is why Doekyom filled Seungkwan's place in my life. But that didn't mean I didn't miss Seungkwan anymore, I just didn't know if I could miss him anymore. You can willingly close the distance if you apologise after a fight but it is harder to fight the distance that was baseless.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." Doekyom told me suddenly bringing me out of my zone.
"Yeah." I said vaguely.
Jihoon nodded once in my direction before following Doekyom too.
"Should I walk you home?" Sunbae asked Seungkwan.
He shook his head. "It's late already. You should get going. Hos-" He stopped in the middle as he looked at me. "I can walk with Soonghoon."
Sunbae gave me a doubtful look before nodding hesitantly. "Get home safe then." He said. "Both of you." My heart skipped a beat seeing him worry about me too. Not in a romantic way but in a warm way. After a day full of being invisible he finally acknowledged me.
"You too. Call me when you get home." Seungkwan said cheekily. Sunbae took a step forward towards Seungkwan when Seungkwan looked at me and pushed him back slightly.
I am stupid. They were about to kiss but didn't because of me.
"I think I left my phone inside. I'll be right back." I said and hurriedly went in back. The place was nearly empty. The only people were a group of middle aged women who were in a deep conversation. So deep that they didn't even notice me coming inside or two boys kissing outside. And I hoped they didn't.