when there was me & you ⇀ ricky bowen imagines {ON HIATUS}

five years later (iii)

↬ language; secrets; (teen) pregnancy 

keywords: 
y/h/h: your hogwarts house

"what do you want me to say, ricky?" you nearly shout, stomping your foot.

"i want you to tell me the truth!"

"the truth?" you gasp. you throw your hands up, letting them fall to your side with an audible slap. "what, that the day i was going to tell you i was pregnant, you told me you were still in love with nini? god, ricky! i wasn't going to tell you after that."

ricky swallows hard, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"i deserved to know. you shouldn't have ran away."

"i wanted you to be happy, ricky!" you groan. "and that was going to be with nini, not with me."

"you don't know what i would've done if you had told me."

"do you?" you ask, crossing your arms. "if we could go back in time and i told you then that i was pregnant, would you have told nini you couldn't be with her?"

ricky sighs. "i don't know. i- probably. i don't know, but i do know i've missed out on four years of my kid's life. and it's not fair you took him away from me."

you look down at your feet.

"you had no right coming here," you mumble.

"wouldn't have been able to reach you any other way," ricky grunts. "you changed everything after you left."

you push past him to go sit back on the couch, grabbing the remote just to have something in your hands.

ricky sits down next to you.

"i- i don't want to miss anymore," ricky says softly. "so can i see him?"

"he's sleeping," you sigh.

"not now. like, tomorrow- later today, or something. we can meet somewhere, maybe."

you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, weighing your options. you always had felt bad for keeping finn from ricky, but then again, he had run off with nini. but he didn't know you were pregnant. and he was right— neither of you could know what would've happened had you told him then.

and yeah, there was a part of you that sometimes wondered what life would be like had you told ricky back then. but you always convinced yourself he would have chosen nini over the two of you; he'd already chosen her over you, why not choose her over you andyour child?

suddenly, you hear footsteps pattering down the hall. finn appears in the archway, franklin stuffed under one arm and dragging his favorite whale blanket behind him. you smile softly, holding your arms out for him.

he rushes to crawl up into your lap, snuggling into your chest. you wrap your arms around him, holding him tight.

ricky's right— finn is the perfect mix of the two of you.

when finn was born, he only had a thin sheet of light fuzz on his head and steel gray eyes. at first, you'd hoped his eyes would stay that color or turn into a hazel or blue because back then, you didn't know what you'd do if you had to look into ricky's eyes every day.

it wasn't as hard as you thought it'd be. and you fell in love with brown eyes all over again.

and by his second birthday, you knew he'd have ricky's curls.

you run your hand over the back of finn's head. he lets out a yawn.

"i had a bad dream," he mumbles. "i lost you somewhere big, and i couldn't find you."