Close | A Spencer Reid Story

22. Letters

Y/N's POV

Spencer was giving me whiplash. His mood was too erratic. I couldn't predict how he was going to react like I used to be able to.

Was there something wrong with me?

I had been super busy with work. I was constantly heading out if state or even out of the country over these past few months. It was difficult to get our schedules to align. Maybe it had finally caught up with us and Spencer didn't want to expend the energy anymore.

That wasn't going to work for me. Nobody in my entire life has put me at ease the way Spencer does. He provides me with a sense of security I didn't know I needed, even when he isn't around.

I Don't think anyone around me realises how much I need Spencer, most least of all him.

Tonight, although we were mere inches apart, he felt so out of reach.

I'm not perfect. And I've never tried to be. I'm always just me. Maybe that wasn't enough for someone like Spencer. He could spot perfection from a mile away.

I'm known amongst my friends for being the cool, calm and collected one. The one that's unphased. But tonight, I was flustered by Spencer. When he offered to walk me back from the office, I was hoping that things would magically be as they were before. Conversations that never ended, that I could barely remember after the fact. A smile that would be printed on my face until hours after we parted. That was far from what I ended up encountering.

He tried. Oh boy did he try. But his efforts were in vain. He knew immediately that I had caught on. We weren't one for pretences.

That combined with how I prefer to bluntly just ask what the problem is, was how I asked him what was wrong in the first place.

But then he lied.

He never did that. Usually once I brought it up, he would be honest. Brutally honest. I admired that. This conversation took a very different turn.

As much as I tried, all I could do was replay the walk home in my head. I filed away my work, but my mind was on Spencer. I showered, but I was still thinking about Spencer. I frothed some milk for a hot chocolate, but my brain was stuck on Spencer.

Ugh. I was becoming what I didn't want. Spencer was consuming me. I'd always said that would never be me for some guy.

But then again. Spencer wasn't just some guy.

I tucked a book under my arm and precariously carried my overflowing mug, with whipped cream melting down the sides, over to the balcony doors. I had to do a balancing act as I attempted to open up the doors without spilling a single drop.

Just as I placed my mug on the table outside, there was rap at the door.

I lifted up my pyjamas shirt's sleeves and noted the time. It was unusual for anyone to show up at my door without some type of prior warning.

I peeked through the peephole. I sniggered as I saw one my neighbour pull a face at me, expecting me to look through first. I unlock the door and laugh at her as I open it to let her in.

"Faye, you're here?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah," she gasped as if I offended her. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," I rolled my eyes, pulling her in by her arm. "It's just that you normally have a date, for every day of the week," I teased.

"This one was a loser. I had to drop him. You know he wanted me to pay for the date. ME! Who the hell does he think he is?" Faye muscled her way through my apartment and took a massive swig from my drink.