Let You Go - Riley Green

- 13 -

"I can't believe I'm back here." Lottie sighs as she sits on the edge of the stage, her bare feet swinging. "I thought that after Calvin's wedding I'd never come back here again but here I am."

Riley looks over at her from the guitar rack. "You okay?"

"No." She sighs as she lays back against the stage, her hands covering her face.

Even being back in Jacksonville is tough for Lottie. She has some pretty bad memories here.

"Is your Mama comin'?" She looks at the upside down version of him.

"Yeah, she said she'll be here." He smiles at the grin she has on her face. "Got her a backstage pass and everything."

"I've been missin her."

"Me too." She turns to her knees and sits back on haunches. "Kinda sad to see the tour end."

"Really?"

"Kinda. Also kinda relieved, maybe I won't be as stressed when I get back to my house."

"I've been meanin' to ask you if you wanted to move back in together?" She looks down at her hands and shrugs. "It was just a suggestion, Lot."

"I- I know but we both know how well it went last time."

"You mean hookin' up? We- We hooked up twice in the last week."

"I know but-"

He shakes his head and walks away. Lottie sighs and stands, running her hands through her hair.

When the fuck did life get so weird?

+++

Lottie paces around the alley between the building she's supposed to perform in in the next ten minutes and the bus that's supposed to take her home after the show. Her heart is racing, her head is pounding and her breathing is shaky. It finally dawns on her that she's having a panic attack.

She hasn't had one in a hot second.

Sure, she's been worked up before, recently yes but she hasn't been up to this level of anxiety since probably high school.

She's made the decision of opening her last set with a bunch of songs she had written a while ago and some she passed on to other musicians. That isn't really fueling her panic attack, it's really Riley and Morgan but mostly being back in Jacksonville.

Lottie takes a deep drag from her cigarette, her third, and forces herself to stop pacing.

"Lottie! C'mon!" Ryan shouts.

She takes one last drag and holds her breath as she flicks the cigarette away. As she's closing the venue's back door behind her, she exhales slowly.

"You okay?" Ryan asks, looking over a clipboard.

"I'm good." She responds, looking down at her pack of cigarettes. "Where's Riley?"

"I'm not sure."

"How long?"

"You're on in like five minutes." He snaps his gum. "You sure you wanna play 'em songs? Have you practiced them enough?"

"It'll be fine, Ryan." She squeezes his shoulder before she heads to the stage to see if Riley's there.

Lottie's tired blue eyes land on Riley. His back is turned to her so she wraps her arms around him. He jumps but then relaxes when he realizes who's around him.

"Where's your Mama?"

"She's 'round here somewhere." He says then smiles down at her. "Hey, I'm sorry for gettin' pissed off earlier. I don't know what that was but I feel awful."