Deviants

Chapter 40

Johnny

Del approaches me looking nicer compared to yesterday, probably because she actually planned for this. I watch as her fingers fiddle with the cuff of her sleeve and she shoulders are stiff as she walks. I know it would be a little unsettling for a large part of her past to suddenly enter her current life, but why does she look so fearful? Is it because of her husband? Does he know where she is? Did she at least tell him about me? She gives me a tight smile as she reaches my and I hold out her coffee cup to her.

"I noticed you ordered black yesterday, so I hope I made the right decision," I say. She doesn't say anything as she takes the cup and sips at it. She glances behind me towards the cemetery, and I realize how pale she seems. Did she never recover properly from Jenny's death? I turn and walk into the cemetery and I notice she reluctantly follows me.

"I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here, but I wanted to know where Jenny was buried and I wanted to see you again before I head back to Montana," I say. She stiffly nods her head but doesn't say anything. We continue walking through the rock pathways in the cemetery before she stops and a narrow walkway.

"This way," she mutters, motioning down the path. I notice her hands shaking. I grab her elbow before she can continue walking.

"If this is too hard for you then we can go somewhere else. I know I could find Jenny's grave on my own," I say. I notice her flinch at the sound of her name. She quickly takes a sip of her coffee. I frown in confusion. "Did you tell Anderson about me? Did he do something?" I ask, thinking of her husband, who I am already starting to hate, and I don't care to be on first name basis with. But Del shakes her head.

"No, I didn't tell him. I'm fine. You deserve for me to show you your sister," she says. I let her continue to lead me past the headstones until we reach a small granite headstone. Del walks onto the grass then and steads before the grave. I walk up next to her, my heart beating fast. The only imprint in the headstone is Jenny's name and the years she lived. I frown.

"Why is her last name Snow?" I ask, looking at Del. I see her bite her lip, but she doesn't look at me. In the picture Ace had sent me the words were too blurry and I had learned the information from the text he had left next to the picture.

"Um... It was a really difficult time for me and... I actually didn't handle a lot of the funeral," she says.

"Who put her name as Snow when she is Barlow?" I ask. She doesn't answer but picks at her sleeve. "Was it Anderson?" I ask. I see her lip quiver as she nods her head.

"He wanted to put Anderson on it, but I told him that it wouldn't be right because Anderson was no where on her birth certificate," she says. I take a breath as I shake my head. I look back at where Jenny lies, shoving the piece of shit from my mind.

I walk towards the stone, careful not to step where she would be buried, and squat next to it. I run my thumb over her name, the stone rough to my finger compared to Dad's. I look at my mother, who refuses to look at either me or Jenny's stone.

"Thank you," I say, feeling as if I should give her some sort of sympathy. She looks up at me. "Thank you for bringing me out here. Thank you for at least trying with me." She nods her head but quickly looks away as tears gather in her eyes. I stand and walk before her. I hesitantly reach out and touch her shoulder. That seems to make her shake with tears. She covers her mouth to stifle a sob. Conflicted, I falter once as I bring her closer to me but then wrap her in an embrace. She is a small woman, smaller than what she seemed to be in the few pictures I have of her, but I could imagine that her past years are the cause of that. Her whole body shakes as I tighten the embrace. My own throat tightens as I try to get all the things that were taken away from me through her hug. As if I could somehow get Jenny back. That is until Del pushes me away.

"Stop, Johnny, I-" her voice breaks and she wipes her soaked face, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you back when... when I had-" she can't finish as she covers her mouth, her sobs becoming too much. I frown and shake my head.

"You don't actually blame yourself, do you?" I ask, looking down at her. When she doesn't say anything, I try to reach for her again, but she turns her back to me.

"You- you don't understand, Johnny," she chokes, "I am not the kind of person you want anything to do with. And I don't think you should've come." I grab her shoulder and spin her towards me.

"I don't care what kind of person you were. Whatever you did in the past doesn't matter. It's who you are now and how much of a difference you will make with me now and how you are to Jack and Joey," I say, but she still doesn't look at me. I sigh and take a step from her. I open my leather jacket and take a pen from the inside pocket. I pull her hand towards me.

"I'm going to get Jenny a new headstone," I say as I write my number on her palm. She looks up at me, shocked. "I'll look into it, and if it isn't too much, I'll have her reburied next to Dad."

"But Johnny-"

"They deserve to be together now," I say, staring into her blue eyes; eyes that are the same as Jack's. "I'll have her real name put on her stone as well as her parents' and all of her siblings."

"Johnny, do you realize how expensive that's going to be? I don't-"

"I have the money," I interrupt her. I look down at her hand which I'm still holding. I slowly let go of her. "This is my number. I want to stay in contact with you. And I want to get to know my brothers. I'm not sure when I can come back, but when I do, I will meet them. And I don't give a shit what Anderson thinks or does. He is a piece of shit and you deserve better." I see her swallow before she looks down at her palm.

"Please..." I start, thinking of the name she prefers me to call her. Now would be a good time to refer to her as who she really is. "Mom... Don't abandon me again." New tears quiver on her eyelids. She shakes her head.

"Iwon't." This time she wraps me in an embrace.

A/N:

So how deep was this chapter?! 😭😭

So you know how I am usually mean to my characters? My plan was to have Johnny's and Del's reunion go terrible but that went completely south without my permission. But the book isn't over 😈 I'll get control again eventually

But what did you guys think of Del? Any theories? Gimme your thoughts!

I loved how this chapter ended though! My heart! 💓💓 and it's the perfect ending for a time jump 😁

Thank you for all your support!😘😘

..... I am mean to my characters right? Do you guys like that or hate it? Or do you hate that you like it??