Deviants

Chapter 32

Amee

Parties are stupid. Especially when you're single... and your crush is recently single... and he's flirting with you. Oh, did I mention that you're drunk? Well, I am. I'm almost scared of what I would give to kiss him. Or have him kiss me. I need water.

"I need water!" I say, leaning to one side, nearly losing my balance. Clint, with his stupid irresistible smile, catches my arms.

"I won't argue with you there," he teases. My heart seems to leap from my chest as he entwines his fingers with mine. Why do I have to still have human feelings as dumb as crushes when my purpose here is a lot bigger than Clint can ever be? I shake my head, as if to shake I.O.E. out of my thoughts. I don't want to dwell on such a sensitive topic when I am this drunk- which wasn't intentional. Not after I had muttered things about Scott being so open with his ability last time, while May Eve was right next to me.

Clint leads me into a smaller room, where the music is muffled and there are only two girls sitting on the bed whispering to each other. Clint offers them a small apology before we dash into the bathroom.

"Can I just..." Clint takes the red solo cup from my hand and dumps the rest of the alcoholic drink down the drain before refilling it with water. "Here," he says, handing it to me. I take a large gulp. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I know I looked cute a few hours ago, but I don't want to see what the alcohol has done to me. I turn my back towards it.

"You know, this water's not very good," I say, which brings a smile to his face. I'm not sure if he is just laughing at me. Either way his smile gives me butterflies. It isn't like I haven't ever kissed anyone before. I've kissed a total of... three guys. But that still doesn't stop me from wondering how it would feel to kiss Clint.

"You're staring," he whispers. As he says it, I notice that I was watching his lips. I force my eyes upwards, towards his golden-brown eyes.

"No, I'm not," I say, innocently. But his intense gaze seems to make me very aware of myself. It seems to sober me up.

"Tell me what you were thinking about," he whispers. I glance at his lips once more.

"I was... wondering what it would be like..." I bite my tongue, realizing how much of an idiot I'm going to make myself sound.

"To kiss you," he says. I look into his eyes again. I didn't say that. He did. I suddenly don't find myself smiling like I have been since talking to him. And I'm aware of my surroundings. And I'm aware of how he leans in. I am even more aware of how I lean in. "I know I shouldn't be doing this," he whispers, "because we've both been drinking." I slowly nod my head.

"Probably wouldn't be a good idea," I whisper back. But even still we both lean in closer. We are breathing the same air, my heart slams against my chest. We are the closest to each other we've ever been. Oh, shit, I think. This is real. This really is Clint and me, in a bathroom, alone together, both of us single. I've dreamed of this millions of times, just maybe without the bathroom and alcohol. But that's just it. Those were just dreams. They were just my wants; nothing that I ever expected to amount to anything. My fingers reach up to my chest and clamp around the ugly green rock. Dreams that I knew would never be able to happen.

I lean away, almost too quickly. I still stare into his eyes, which seem as conflicted as I feel. But I've made my decision.

"It wouldn't be a good idea. Ever," I say. Clint's brows come together.

"I can understand now, but... ever?" He says, showing no emotion except slight confusion. I swallow hard, looking away from him as I tuck the necklace under my shirt. Everything sudden comes crashing down on me. I'm so stupid. How did I let May Eve talk me into going tonight? With Cassidy out there? And Kate? Kate. My mind races as I try to remember where I had last saw her. She was so hung up on Johnny that she didn't feel like coming tonight, but after May Eve and Clarity talked me into it, of course I had to talk Kate and Irene into it. But it's Kate that I'm worried about.