Children of Van Helsing

Chapter Forty - Unlocked

Jessica

An entire week of planning and practicing had made me so tired I slept for sixteen hours straight on Sunday. It was crazy, a mass, chaos - but it was good to do something. It distracted me from my thoughts about Lily. I knew she was right, I knew she had let her family go as well and that it wasn't more than honest I did the same, but I just couldn't. I wasn't as righteous as her. Besides, my connection with my family was much better than her connection with hers - they had hated her. Mine loved me and actually wanted me home.

The plan was already there, actually. We had just been practicing a bit, fighting, sparring, training. Me included. It had been ages since I had actually trained for a while and since I hunted as little as possible - Susanna did most of the work, along with Regina, because they knew I hated it - and my muscles ached.

But if it meant getting my sister back it was all worth it. I missed her, the stupid, silly, foolish girl.

The only good things which was happening, was the fact that Ian and Susanna were really getting close. They talked much more, I even saw Susanna laugh a few times, and they even kissed. Somewhere it still hurt to see that. I missed Lily. It was like somebody had ripped my heart out, pulled it apart and had only put half of it back in. Sometimes it was difficult to even breathe.

I went downstairs on Sunday and almost got run over by Jack, Joel and Jane, who were playing a tag. I wondered if they even knew what was going on.

When I passed the drawing room I saw Ian and Susanna lying on the couch together, Susanna in his arms, frowning with her eyes closed, and Ian just stared at the ceiling while stroking her hair.

I was going to paint that later on.

While trying to make a mental picture, I strolled into the kitchen to find something to eat. I was never hungry anymore, but I still forced myself to eat. Because starving myself wasn't going to bring me back to Lily.

Part of me hoped she would be waiting for me after all when this was all over - but on the other hand, I couldn't drag her into this again. Maybe it was for the best she found somebody who was normal, who could give her a calm life, the happy, regular life she craved so much. I wanted her to have that - just not with somebody else. But I couldn't give it to her.

I sat down in the living room to eat the leftover salad I had found in the fridge - the room was empty, and I felt really lonely and tiny, at the gigantic deserted table - when Greg came wandering in. I knew he had come from the basement. He had developed some kind of friendship with Sacha.

Why? No idea. He wasn't in love with her or something, he just genuinely felt sorry for what had happened. Sacha was a kind, loving person and he liked talking to her because she actually treated him in a good way.

"How was she?" I asked, while he sat down next to me. We had gotten a bit closer, strangely enough. Maybe because we had both lost somebody we loved a lot and were very close to. I had lost Lily and he had lost Helen.

And it had been our own doing.

"Fine. Calm. She sounds like herself again." He said.

"That's good to hear."

He didn't smell so awful anymore - had he taken a shower? Used soap? What an improvement!

"When will you let her out?" He asked.

Good question. Sacha seemed fine, but we weren't sure if that would last if she came outside. Even though she was now able to talk to a person while seeing him or her through the small window in her cell door, we didn't want to risk it. On the other hand - we couldn't leave her in there together.