TodoDeku Oneshots

Wing Men😎 🤣

Before Note: @Manly_red_kirishima , I finally did it, I Stopped procrastinating and decided to write this bc I made a promise. I didn't forget just really really lazy and lot of chaotic energy coming my way. So I hope you enjoy!

Kaminari's POV
Love is incredible... incredibly stupid! I walk down the corridor and see hearts and red strings literally oozing out from everyone and everything.
I get into class and sit down to meet my friends.
"Ugggh!" I plopped my head on my desk and reveled in my loneliness.
"Oh, I know that groan, that's the groan you do when you fail a test. Which was it this time, chemistry?" I trudged my head to the other side responding in a flat tone to Sero.
"I didn't have any tests this week." Kiri pulled up a chair.
"No, no, you have it all wrong. That's his groan when he fails his test are more whiny like 'uggggh~' this is the groan of a wild Pikachu that is hungry!" He pulled deep into his backpack, wiggling his hand a bit and fishing out a bar presenting it to me with his shark tooth grin.
"Here, have a snickers bar."
"You're not you when you hungry." Jirou quoted.
"No, but seriously, what's wrong buddy?" She pulled up a chair.
"Your groan sounded like you forgotten something." She rested a hand on my back.
"No his 'forget groan' is more airy and short," Kiri rebutted, "he's hungry! Here you go pal." He handed me the snickered and I groaned out.
"Thanks." As I slowly ate the bar.
"See, I was right!" Kiri exclaimed.
"No, I'm pretty sure he failed something, or his mom yelled at him." Sero stated.
"No that groan sounds more like a long sigh like 'ugggggggh'." Kiri imitated.
"No, it's more like 'uggh!'." Sero argued.
"You guys are both wrong, it's like 'uggghh'." Added Jirou.
"No, it more like," They all got into a groan arguement about how my groans sound, messing with the pitch, tone, and delivery.
Man, do I really groan that much where they have to have an argument on what my groan means today?
This continued until Kacchan butted in.
"You guys are all wrong, dimwits! Clearly dunce face's groan today is because he's in pain." My eyes widened, did he catch on that I'm literally repulsed by love cause everyone is throwing their love in my face.
"He has a tummy ache, he usually doesn't decline food unless his stomach hurts and see how long he's taking to eat his 3rd favorite Candy." Everyone came to a consensus, agreeing that it made sense.
"Oh! Kami, you need to poop?" Jirou asked.
"It's nothing of the sort! Just I'm just in a shitty mood so you can just leave me alone?" I turned my head completely on the face of the desk, vertically laying my head down blocking out everyone around me.
"No pun intended." Word choice wasn't the best but I'm in a bad in a mood so I don't care.
"Our most happy go stupid member in the Baku-Gang is in a bad mood?" Asked Sero. I didn't say anything but let out another groan.
"I don't believe it." Jirou stated.
"Yeah, tell us what's wrong buddy. You want me to get you Dino nuggies after school today?" Kiri started to poke my cheek and I groaned some more.
"Or we can get you some boba, Your favorite café has new strawberry lemonade bubbles~" Sero tempted as he was poking my other cheek.
"Oh come on buddy, tell us what's wrong. We don't like seeing you this bummed." Jirou said as she rested her crossed arms on my back.
"Come on Dude,"
"Tell us what's wrong,"
"I still bet he has to poop." They all were still poking me and grabbing my face pulling my cheeks so I can see their funny faces and silly antics but I just wasn't feeling it today. I just sunk down further into my sit and groaned.
"Guys, this is serious." Jirou eyed concerningly at the rest of the gang.
"Yeah, our usual antics to cheer Denki up have failed." Sero speculated.
"Are you sure he's not hungry?" Kiri asked.
"I bet eraser has some Sour Candy he can have."
"Grrr Guys! I appreciate you all trying to help me but there's nothing wrong with me okay! I just want a little time alone." The whole gang gasped, even Bakugou's eyes widened.
"That's your angry at us groan!" Kiri, Sero, and Jirou screamed. Kiri immediately turned over to Bakugou and glared.
"What did you do to Denki!?!"
"Me!?!  I didn't do nothing to this dunce face!" Bakugou screamed.
"Oh yeah, the last time he groaned like that you broke his Pokémon limited edition 24 Karat gold pikachu keychain that you could only get in the ALL MIGHT corn flake cereal box!"
"And he doesn't even eat corn flakes unless they're frosted!" Added Sero. Jirou put a hand on my shoulder and asked,
"Was Bakugou meaner than usual to you and this is why you're depressed? BAKUGO, YOU APOLOGIZE!"
"BUT I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO THE DUNCE!!!"
I just flopped my head to the other side where I saw the love of my life in the hallway talking to ugh, Monoma. He's just so perfect and has the most wonderful purple hair. My cheeks became flushed with attraction and if this were a cartoon, you'd see hearts float around my head.
"..de... dude... DUDE!" I was pulled out of my trance and groaned again.
"Man, he must be really sick if it's not Bakugou's doing." Concluded Jirou.
"What does that supposed to mean?" Bakugou screeched.
"You're right, that is a sigh of sickness."
"Mina!" The group excitedly welcomed her.
"Mina, we're so glad you're here. Kaminari keeps groaning and we don't know what it means." Informed Sero.
"Yeah we do Kami just needs to-"
"Hush Kiri, he's in pain, a love sick pain! A stomachache full of butterflies, twinged from Cupid's arrow himself!"
"I don't know, isn't that kind of a stretch?"
"Honestly, I think needs a nap because he seems grumpy today." Kiri suggested.
"I'm not a child, I don't need a nap, I don't need anything, just Ugggh!"
The bell rung and for once, I'm glad that class is starting.
"Okay class, everyone get into your assigned seats and since it's getting close to Valentine's Day, we can talk about the festivities and it's origins." Never mind. His words were coming in one ear blowing out the other as I can barely piece together about what he's talking about. Something about Saint Valentine and Rome, I don't know. Then Mina leaned over to me and whispered.
"I know that you have it bad."
   "Bad for what?" I amusingly asked.
   "More like 'who'!" She did a hushed giggle.
   "What are you guys whispering about?" Kiri turned around intrigued.
   "How Kami has it bad for someone!" Mina told eargerly.
   "Are you really trying to meddle with Kami's love life again, you know what happened last time!" Said Sero concealing a cackle.
   "Hey! As a love guru, you must fail at least once to be considered one!" Mina huffed.
   "Yeah but you were way off the mark on that one." Rebutted Sero.
   "Yeah, I'm Gay." Add Jirou.
    "Well I'm sorry that in this patriarchal society that the default is straight and you had given me reason to assume other wise!" Mina whined.
   "Dude, that was hurtful, like that shit hurted tho- like no offense but to be- I can't even say it. I mean, I didn't even at least gave you raging bisexual vibes?"
   "Well like I said, you have to be wrong at least once in your life," she looked at me and smirked,  "but I'm pretty sure on this one. You like Shinso don't you?"
   "HAHAHAH! THATS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!" I nervously blurted out into the room.
"Kaminari!" Aizawa boomed as he paused the Paretuem board. Oh Shit!
"Do you care to explain why you yelled in the class, disturbing my slumber?" Oh Fucking Shit!
I cleared my throat as sweat started to gush out of my pores from nowhere, pulling on my collar having an audible gulp of despair.
"W-well you see, ahem, what I was going to tell you is," it was so loud that the white noise seemed deafening; it didn't help that Aizawa was giving me the I'm waiting stare, arms crossed and eyebrows slanted in a frown.
Think Kaminari think! Say something, Anything!
"LOVE IS WEIRD!" Really!?!! I just had to say that!
"Hmm, interesting. Please elaborate more Kaminari-San." Oh shit, please oh please wise Buddha, please let those random animal facts come in clutch.
   "Uh-Ahem yeah, love is weird because... GAY ANIMALS ARE BETTER AT RAISING OFFSPRING THEN STRAIGHT ONES!" Everyone just looked at me like I was crazy, but I continued anyway.
  "So Black Swans... like 25% of them are gay and perform pre-mating ritual and like steal the eggs of a lady swan just to raise it." Everyone continued to stare at me so I just kept on talking.
"Penguins do similar things as well, and ooh Lions, king of the jungle right, is not afraid to mount another male lion to create bonds and prove allegiance. And since we're Japanese, let's talk about the masques and how a lot of them are lesbian, and Aizawa I know'll like this, the Bonin Flying Fox is like really gay and will go out of their way to suck-"
"KAMINARI THAT'S ENOUGH! Just- just sit down. Class dismissed." Everyone was grabbing their things and Iida proudly raised his hand.
"But Aizawa sir, we still have another-"
"Class dismissed."Aizawa sighed while mumbling along the lines of 'I don't get paid enough for this.'
I was heading out the door and Sero patted me on the back.
"Hey, good job for getting us out of class early."
"Yeah, no prob." I say not to into it.
"Hey Kaminari, how'd you know all those animal facts anyway? I'd love to know more about my new spirit animal." Laughed Jirou.
"Yeah maybe some other time bye guys." I waved them goodbye and headed to my dorm until I spotted Midoriya.
"Hey Midoriya, wait up!"
"Yeah Kaminari?" I immediately hung from off his shoulders and groveled at this point.
"Midoriya please, you've got to help me!" He reluctantly consoled me, petting me on my back.
"Is everything okay?" I immediately got off of him and embarrassingly chuckled.
"You see, what I wanted to tell you was..." he just continued to stare at me and let out a sigh and got my game face on.
"I really like someone but I don't know how to tell them."
"Okay?"
"And my friends didn't make anything better because we're all idiots and then it made me think 'how'd you do it?' How did you confess to Todoroki-San? Please I'm begging you!"
He just chuckled.
"Kaminari, is this why you were sad this morning I just thought you just had to eat or something?" Why is everyone thinking that today?
"Well, what I did was I tried to hang out him more and things came naturally where I built up the confidence to confess but the thing was when I was in mid confession he blurted out I like you before I could finish hehe." This lucky bastard! I just slide down to the floor where I belong.
   "Um Kaminari-Kun? You good?" I continued to wallow in my Shame and contemplating wether I should just die to save me from this embarrassment.
   "Yeah, just leave me here." I groan. Midoriya awkwardly chuckled.
   "Just take a chance, that's what I did." He walked off leaving me to die.
   "There you are!" Mina excitedly screamed. "I have the perfect idea to gets you your mans!" She was dragging me down the corridor, trying to grab on the smooth floor, crying out.
"Midoriya, don't leave me! Midoriya!!!!"
"Oh stop composing and let me work my love magic!" She excitedly phrased.
"Noooooooo-" She dragged my limpless body towards her secluded covent of love. The air smelt of collected hair sprays and perfumes, with a hint of makeup dust giving me contour lung. smells completely foreign to a man. Electric blue covers and fushia leopard printed throw pillows covers what used to be a bed. Mountains of girl talk magazines are scattered across the floor, all talking about the wretched feelings of love. Rivers of nail polish and assorted makeup items flood the room. Idolatry is strung across her walls of BTS, Black Pink and Red Velvet. It may or not come to a shock to you, but I was scared.
    "Now, take a seat."She used her alien girl powers and mentally strapped me down to the furry lounge chair.
   "Sit and talk to me." She grabbed my hand and started to do my nails.
    "I have nothing to talk about-OW! What are you doing?-Hey!"
   "I can tell you're in it bad and I'm pushing back your cuticles." I yanked my hand away and held it defensively.
   "Well can you please not! And I don't have bad."
   "Kami, you can't lie to me for how long we've been friends." She softly grabbed my hands and started to lightly buff and file.
   "I know, it's just....it's just flipping pointless! Shinso is the most amazing person and is probably is already in a stupid relationship with frickin' Monoma! That stupid copy-cat who has a superiority complex who thinks he's better than everyone else!" I sparklingly let out.
   "What color?" Mina calmly asked.
    "Any color but pink. But anyway... I don't know how I can even compare." She started to light the nail lamp.
   "You stupid thing, I specifically got the usb outlets installed for stuff like this-darn it! Hey Kami, you mind?"
   "Sure." I say in a flat tone.
   "Okay put your hands in." She chipperly sung.
   "Are you even listening?" I ask slightly annoyed.
   "Of course Kami, and I think I know the solution."
   "What is it?" I slightly scoffed and rolled my eyes.
   "Patience; go look at your nails." I did what she told me to and I was impressed.
   "Wow Mina, this is good." I look at my lime green finger nails.
   "See what happened when you wait, good things can happen, lime my super fabulous nail job, and you won't even be aware of it. Just have the patience to see things through. Cut off that first cuticle of awkwardness, file and shape your ease with one another, and paint on them layers of relationship, not too thin to chip away, not too thick where everything just comes out messy, just right where you can last a long time" I was awestruck.
   "Wow Mina, that was surprisingly deep for an excuse to do my nails." She playfully stuck out her tongue and I lightly laughed.
    "Now go get your mans Romeo!" Usually I would advice against it but today, in this instance I was feeling confident, exalted, on the best high.
   I strutted out of her room in a search to find the best man alive, Shinso.
   Lucky I didn't have to search so hard because not even two seconds later I ran into him. I looked at his beautiful eyes and I knew I was done for. All my insecurities came flying back. Does my hair look okay? do I smell? Does he like the smell of Old Spice cologne with Dove Men Deodorant?
  "Are you okay? I didn't mean to hit you." Come on Kami, say something!
He tilted his head in question.
   "Are you okay? Oh now his me thinks you're weird, just say something!
   "CUT THROUGH  THE CUTICLES OF AWKWARDNESS!"
   "Wha-?" He scrunched his nose in confusion.
  "Oh Shinsou, you promised me we'd go out to pick some drapery for my room, oh you did say you'd go." You could hear a voice off in the distance yell.
  "Ugh, I don't have time for this!" He softly groaned. I looked at him confused and he looked at me.
    "Can you do something for me?" He came in closer, the distance between us becoming shorter and shorter, the world making me perceive that everything was slow motion. And then he... touched me hand. He touched my hand! I was in such a euphoric bliss, watching him pull me away that I *boom*
   "Aheheh-" Lightening shot right out of me and everything became blank.

".ello.... Hello?....Hello!" Black spots faded in and out, and all I saw was a pair of beautiful eyes.
"Is this heaven?" I heard the most sexy chuckle.
"No, this is Iowa." My eyes got more focused to reveal... Shinsou!
   "Shinsou! H-Hi, how are you!?!" He gave me a quick look of confusion before he dropped into a soft smile.
   "Is the short circuiting a normal occurrence?" I think I let out another shock from embarrassment and quickly covered my face.
   "I can't believe you saw me like that!" I squeal out.
   "No, no it's fine really. It gave me a really good excuse to not go with Monoma to get his 'drapery' with him."
   "Wait-Aren't you two like a thing you know..." Shinsou's face went completely blank.
   "What?"
   "Like you, and Monoma, like you know." I did a vague thing meshing my fingers together and he got the memo.
   "What-Heavens no! He has too much a narcissistic personally for me!" He laughed out.
   "Right! And he has this annoying typical anime antagonist laugh that makes you just wanna punch him."
   "I already told him off about his personality." We shared a laugh and I noticed how close we were and I blush, immediately turning away.
   He crept closer to my hand, slightly holding them.
   "Hey, I'm DJ'ing at this event Friday night, and if you'd like, I can invite you and can bring some of your friends. If you wanna go of course." My heart bolted with glee, sparks flying everywhere.
   "Yeah I'd love to go! When and Where?"
   "At the dome, 11pm, hope to see you there. Just don't accidentally electrocute the turn tables." I blushed once more due to me still being embarrassed about that.
   "Hey, just joking with ya' Kalamari." He started to walk off.
   "Are we giving out nicknames now, are we on that status of acquaintanceship?" I joke.
   "Maybe Sunshine."
   "Are you just gonna keep 'em coming."
   "Yeah but I liked the last one. Sunshine, like your personality and the color of your hair." I grabbed the ends of my hair and looked at them in a blush, redder then the flushed cheeks of a pikachu.
   "I'll see you."  He walked off turning the corner to the 1-B classrooms.
    "Y-yeah..." My heart went a flutter once more.
   Red hearts ands strings were all around me in a rose tinted glare. Love flowing out from everything. Oh great Buddha, if I could call this incredible feeling, I would call it love.