Natasha Romanoff x Fem reader One-shots

Tired - SJ

Am I writing this cause I have no way else to display my feelings? Yes. Am I crying writing this? Also yes. Should I talk to someone rather than writing this stupid Wattpad story about how I feel? Probably. Am I going to? Probably not.

Warnings: Self harm, Suicide reference, Vomiting, a whole bunch of sadness and depressing shit.

This is in the readers POV all the way through

All rights reserved! This is my own story!

I can't hold on any longer. Everything hurts to keep going. The crying is stinging my eyes. The sobs are burning my throat. The endless pain is breaking my heart second by second. For the past 10 minutes I have been debating giving up. Waking up each morning now feels like waking up from one nightmare just to live out another one constantly. I'm so tired all the time, I want to sleep but can't no matter how much I wear myself out.

It didn't take long for me to shakily pick up my phone from my living room floor and select the group chat called "My family ❤". When I opened it I saw that RDJ and Chris Evans were having another one of their 'husband moments' as everyone commented every once in a while. Am I actually about to type this? I though to myself and began writing my message. It's safe to say that everyone was surprised at the random giant paragraph I sent but I think that as they read on they realised something wasn't right. Telling my family goodbye really did not make me feel better.

My phone had constant messages flowing through it. The group chat was going insane whilst I was still slowly dragging the metal across my legs, creating small cuts because I had lost all my energy to dig it deeper. My mind started to go black from the blood loss so I quickly laid myself down on my carpet, and cried even harder.

It had been 15 minutes since I had sent that text and I had lost track of how many messages and calls I now had. I have now lost the energy to lift up my arm and cut again, I just wanted to close my eyes and not wake up but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't. The crying hadn't stopped and I slowly began heaving from it. It didn't take long for me to throw up all across my floor, making my throat burn worse and my already empty stomach more empty.

Just as my eyes were getting tired from crying the door to my apartment was flung open and Scarlett came over, towel in hand and lifted me up into her arms. "I-I-I'm sorry" is all I could stutter out before sobbing into her harder. "I know sweetheart, I know. I'm here now okay? And I sure as hell aren't leaving. Shhhh it's okay" She whispered into my ears. My sobs couldn't slow down and Scarlett lifted up the towel and began to put pressure on the many wounds to my legs. "It's okay darling, okay..." she kept saying to me.

It was like my whole body just shut down and let itself mould into Scarlett. My head was still pounding from the headache I created with my own thoughts. "Y/N, honey. I need you be honest with me. Have you gone any further than hurting yourself?" She asked me me hesitantly. I just shook my head no in response and she nodded. Scarlett continued to hold me and whisper things like "Shhhhh it's okay." and "I'm here" into my ears till my sobs had stopped and all was left was my tear stained face and blood stained carpet.

"Why do you do this to yourself, sweetheart?" Scarlett asked me whilst looking dead into my eyes. I could tell that she was guilty and felt sorry for me but I didn't want sympathy I just wanted to be held and that's exactly why I'm happy she came. "I-I just.. I'm just so fed up Scar... waking up everyday seeing other people smiling and laughing.. god I wish I could do that. I hurts so much Scarlett please take it away..." I began silently crying again. "Sweetheart, I would love nothing more than to take this pain away from you. But unfortunately all I can do is stay here with you... Just close your eyes.. try to sleep... I love you my darling.." She said hugging me tighter. "I love you too scar" I whispered back, falling into a deep sleep.

haha I'm fine. This has gotta be one of the shortest stories I've ever written but I just don't care rn with putting shit tons of detail into this story about my sadness and shit. Just ignore me I'm fine.