Notice Me

9

"You know, it's been almost two months since you started here," Cain's voice from beside me pulled me from the book I was trying to concentrate on.

We were in the library, working on a project we had both put almost no effort in. Now it was due on Monday, and since it was Friday, we were scrambling.

"Has it?" I mumbled, trying to find the paragraph I had just been reading.

"Yep," Cain said, clearly not intending on doing any work. "And you know, I like you man, but sometimes I feel like I don't even really know you."

"What's there to know?" I asked him, feeling nervous at the line of his questioning.

It was easier that no one knew. It was easier that people didn't look at me as that guy. The one who's best friend committed suicide, and then lost his mind shortly after. Though, remembering the breakdown I had at the bridge last weekend, maybe I was still losing it.

I felt better now. That night was cathartic, even though it was painful as fuck. Like the emotions that I had bottled up inside me for so long had finally found their way out, leaving me feeling a little bit lighter. Don't get me wrong, I was still pissed. I was still so angry sometimes that I couldn't even see straight. But, it was better, even it was just by a fraction.

"What's there to know?" Cain repeated my question with a snort. "Literally anything, man. All I know is that you showed up out of the blue one day, and that you used to go to Hawkings."

"Well, that's the gist of it," I told him, finally pushing the book away from me, accepting that I wasn't going to be able to concentrate while Cain was focused on getting answers.

"No, I don't think it is. Why did you leave Hawkings? You know there's rumours, right?" Cain asked, raising his eyebrows.

I shook my head, knowing the rumours that he was speaking of. They consisted mainly of me getting caught with a teacher in a supply closet, and I had no idea where they originated from.

"You really think I fucked a teacher?" I asked him, holding back a laugh.

"I don't know, man. That's what I'm saying. So, if that's not true, tell me the real reason you left," Cain shrugged his shoulders as he sat back in his chair.

I looked at him, debating on whether or not I should tell him. I liked Cain. He seemed like a good guy. He seemed vastly better than his friends, anyways. I debated on whether I could trust him, knowing this wasn't information I wanted floating through the school's gossipy population.

Finally, I sighed, deciding on taking a leap of faith on him. "I got kicked out."

"I knew it," Cain grinned. "You dirty, dirty dog. Which teacher was it? Science? English? Oooh, was it the Spanish teacher?"

"Shut up, you idiot," I laughed. "I didn't screw a teacher."

"Oh," Cain frowned like he was disappointed in hearing that. "Why did you get kicked out, then?"

I chose my words carefully. "Honestly, I just kind of lost it. Started drinking a lot, starting fighting a lot. I went to school drunk one day, punched a kid I probably shouldn't have punched. The principal's kid. I'm lucky I didn't end up in jail, I guess."

Cain looked shocked at my words, clearly it wasn't what he expected. "You? You did all that? See, this is what I mean. I never would have guessed you were capable of that, bro."

"Yeah, well, like I said... I kind of lost it," I told him, frowning. I did feel like a different person now, those were dark days. I felt like I couldn't even breathe without feeling rage flow through my veins.