Through The Len's Part Two

23: I'm Not Giving Up

"I got a few presents for Indie today." "I've been meaning to talk to you about that." "What? Christmas?" He nodded. "I know you go home for christmas." I nodded. "You're more than welcome to come visit too." I tell him. "Your sister will kill me." "It's not my sisters house. And she'd do anything for Indie. Even spending the week with you." "I'm not that bad." I shrugged. "Hey, don't be mean." He shoved me. "No, dada." Indie scolded him. I laughed. "We're just playing baby." I tell her.

"So shall I add you to the flight then?" I asked him. This would be our frist proper christmas together. Indie was ill before and last time Ian just disappeared on us. "Yeah.Yeah that'll be nice." I nodded with a smile. "Daddy's come to England." I tell her excitedly. "And that's another reason I'm not giving up." "What?" I asked amused. "You're excited to be spending time with me." "I'm excited ou daughter gets to celebrate christmas with her family." "And spending time with me." "Quit it." I tell him. "So dinner?" He asked. "In a bit. Not seen her all day." I say focusing back on Indie. "Book." "You want me to read to you?" She nodded. "Let's go pick out a book then." I get up with her and go to the playroom she wriggles out of my arms and goes to her bookshelf. 

I sit in the rocking chair and wait for her to bring one over for us to read together. She brings it over to me. "Guess how much I love you." I read the title as I picked her up onto my lap. I read the book and she was cuddled on my lap wrapped in my arms close to me. I don't know what Ian was doing I couldn't hear him, though I know he hasn't left yet because I haven't heard the door. I looked down at Indie and she was fast asleep her lips slightly parted. I kissed the top of her head. 

"Guess the zoo took it out of you huh?" I asked her quietly. "So? Italian? Thai? Indian?" Ian said amused. "You could go to the clean kitchen for us." I said with a big smile, he was right but I wanted the green bean salad. "Sure... Green bean salad? Side of beetroot chips?" "Yes please."

"Before you go can you pull the sheets back on her bed." "Yeah." We both went upstairs and he helped me lay her in bed. I didn't attmept to get her changed, didn't want to distrub her. I slipped her shoes off her feet and tucked her in kissing her cheek as she snuggled with her stuffie. "Night princess." Ian whispered to her as I set the baby monitor up. 

I went into my room to get the other end of it and clipped it to my sweats. "I'll be back." I nodded. "I'm going to get us some snacks too." "Snacks?" I questioned. "Yeah, movie night." I rolled my eyes. "Ian?" "As friends, seprate sofa's none romantic films. No horror either so I can go home after and you'll be okay." He chuckled. "Fine, but Phee and Paul can come to." "What about their kids?" I asked. "Phoebe's sister is in town. They were meant to be going to some perimire but Paul doesn't want to go." I inform him. "That's fine. I'll pick them up some food too." "Okay." "Okay." 

Whilst he was go I set the lounge up with blankets and pillows. I lit a few candles. Normally I'd put the fire place on but my new place doesn't have one so candels is the next best thing I guess. I went to answer the door. "Hey, thanks for getting us out of it." Paul said and I laughed hugging him and letting him in. I hugged Phee as she came in. "Ian's just gone to get us dinner and snacks." "Yeah he called... Where's Indie?" Phee asked looking around. "Fell asleep reading with me. Didn't feel right waking her." I tell them. "She'll be up in the morning." "I don't mind, didn't get to see her much today." "Yeah Ian had them both didn't he?" Paul asked. I nodded. "How was it? A day all to yourself?" "Paul asked. "God I'd die for a whole day." Phee added. "It was horrible."  I exclaimed dramatically as we sat down on the sofa. "Really?" "I missed her so much. i didn't have a clue what to do with my day. I'm so used to having her with me all day everyday I felt lost." They laughed. "Wait until you have multiple." Paul admits. "Then you'll be greetful to have five minutes alone." "Don't think we will be having anymore." "What? I was surprised when you waited this long to have one. I thought for sure you'd have more than one. At least three." 

"Yeah well, Ian and I are friends so." I tell them. "You can have children with other people." They tell me like i was dumb. "Really? I thought you could only have one baby daddy. I never knew it would work with other people too." I put on my most sarcastic voice as I respond to them. "Indie needs a sibling." "Indie has a sibling." I say firmly, Bodhi was her sister, they spend time together once a week they're going to grow up knowing each other. "Don't you want another one?" Phee asked I guess just being courisus. "I'm happy with Indie." "Yeah but-"Food!" Ian said entering the room cutting our conversation off completely. 

"Thank you." Ian sat beside me as the other couple took over the other sofa, breaking rule one of movie night, seprate sofa's.  "What were you talking about?" He asked trying to revive the chatter from before he entered the room. "Babies." Paul said killing the conversation again. "And if Isabella was going to have anymore." He looked at me expectantly. "Not planning on it." I say. He nodded and looked down. 

We never discussed if we were going to have anymore as a couple after Indie. We didn't have a chance to have that talk because Indie got really sick. And now well... We're friends so who am I having a baby with? Myself because I don't see anyone other than my married friends and my daughter. "Besides Indie has a sibling she doesn't need more." "Unless Ian has more." Phoebe said, she was having a go at him in a subtle way. "I mean yeah, but that's his choice I'm not going to force him to go have more babies." I say casually. "Well he didn't seem to need forcing last time." "Phoebe!" Paul scolded. I shifted uncomfortbly in my seat. "It was a mistake." I say tucking into my food. "A big one." "Enough." Paul told her. "You're making a mistake taking him back." "Thats my business." I say standing up. "Indie's fussing." I leave the room with my salad and chips and go sit in the window seat on the landing of the stairs. It looked out into our garden, there were bookshelves either side of the seat when Indie's napping sometimes I read here

I ate my food here and Ian came up. "Can I sit?" I nodded moving my feet making space for him to sit with me. "You okay?" I nodded focusing on my food. "Talk to me." "Everyone has an opinion." I say simply, it was my fear from when we first got together, weveryone giving me their opinion on my relationship and my happiness. I hated it. I was happy doing what Ian and I were doing, working things out for our selves. I hated it. I don't give my thoughts and feeling about their relationship why do they think it's okay to do it to me? To us, their friends. 

"We don't have to listen. Just like last time." He cupped my cheek making me look at him. "I want pancakes." I say with a pouty lip. "I'll make you pancakes." He smiled I smiled wider, he took my food from me that I had almost finsihed and we go downstairs to the kitchen. 

He made me pancakes and then when I finished eating we went back into the couple who were arguing to watch a film. I laid my legs over Ian's lap and he rested his hnd on them occasionally squeezing in an affectionate way. I would force myself to keep my eyes on the movie.